#It's important for his teeth and enrichment!!!!

[megamindsecretlair]

What You Deserve, Part 3

Pairing: Big Stunna x Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Toxic filth. Infidelity. PWP, cursing, PIV, oral (male receiving) , fingering (female receiving) teasing, cum play, dirty talk, praise kink, Daddy kink, dick worship, all consensual.

Summary: After finding some damning evidence against your husband, you can't help wallowing. You fall into a bit of a spiral, wondering what your next move should be. Sometimes, you just need a little Stunna to make things better.

Word Count: 4,649k

Part 1 | Part 2

A/N: Listen, I know. Idk why this took so long to write. I think I'm still pleasantly traumatized from Watchmen. IYKYK. Please consider commenting and reblogging to save a writer's life. It's important for their enrichment.

Taglist: @planetblaque @blackerthings @melaninpov @browngirldominion @we-outsiiiide @thecookiebratz @iv0rysoap @notapradagurl7 @sevikasblackgf @miyuhpapayuh @xo-goldengirl @kindofaintrovert @flydotty @judymfmoody @slippinninque @soufcakmistress @henneseyhoe @westside-rot @twocentuar @blackpinup22 @babybratzmaraj @theyscreamsannii @kiabialia @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @nworbaij @hopefulromantic1 @lesbiantreehugger @longpause-awkwardsmile @badassdoll @kholdkill @cardi-bre91 @jay-mach @sageispunk @ciaqui @yourofficialgal @harmshake @amethyst09 @satoruya @theunsweetenedtruth

By the time you were done tearing through your bedroom and home office, you started to feel like a lunatic somewhere between pulling out drawers and flipping over couch cushions. You weren’t sure why, but finding the phone unlocked some kind of jealousy streak in you. You were obsessed. 

You knew what the deal was, but your husband was logical. You honestly thought he’d be too boring to cheat. And cheat with who? He was always at work and he didn’t have any female secretaries. That was a condition of you agreeing to become a stay at home mom. You didn’t want him bringing home any cooties.

And yet he did anyway. You had no room to judge. You had let Stunna in twice now. You took that man home and let him do filthy things to you. The petty side of you, however, rationalized that your husband stepped out first. Even if he bought the second phone a day ago, a week ago, or a year ago, he made that decision first. He chose someone else while you were at home raising his kids. 

And that burned. It burned like acid, clawing its way up your chest and burrowing deep inside. Baby Hands had the nerve to cheat on you? With his disproportionate body, small hands, small teeth, and ugly ass personality? 

You rubbed your head and sat down on the lone couch cushion you hadn’t flipped over yet. Good thing the asshole was gone for two weeks and you had time to put things back to sorts. It was driving you insane looking for…what?

Proof? Wasn’t the second phone enough? 

No. Anyone could excuse a second phone for work. Especially with the way that he worked in finance. He was constantly on call, working on huge contracts that required his attention. You’d caught him a few times in the office, pouring over documents and speaking gibberish. He had those calls on speaker and you heard him talking to a man. 

Unless your husband was secretly gay, you didn’t know where he found the energy or time to cheat. And how dare he bring that shit home to you! He hadn’t touched you in going on a year now. 

That was no excuse to cheat yourself, but shit. You were still sexy. You were still worthy of desire. Stunna taught you that. 

After you found the phone three nights ago, you hadn’t had the time to text Stunna. He texted you, telling you that he missed you. He was even on his best behavior. Nothing freaky or nasty. Just…wanted to see how your day was going. It was cute and touching. But right now, you wanted hellfire and brimstone. 

You rubbed your head once more, trying to figure out places where you wouldn’t look. It had to be somewhere your husband frequented that you didn’t bother with. When he was home, he was either crashing into bed or firing away at his laptop. 

“Mommy?” Noah asked. 

You looked up at Noah standing in the doorway with his sister peeking out next to him. It will always melt your heart the way the twins held onto each other like best friends. You knew that when they got older and developed more individuality, these days would seem like the distant past. 

“Yes, baby?” You asked. Embarrassment flooded through you. They shouldn’t see you like this. Falling apart because of a damn phone. 

“Are you playing hide and seek by yourself?” Noah asked, a small toothless grin on his face.

You chuckled. “Now, why would I do that when I have two of the best players in the house?” You asked. 

The twins grinned. “It’s messy in here!” Naomi said.

“Yes, baby, it’s messy in here,” you said. You looked over the office. It looked like a tornado had thrown up here. 

“Daddy doesn’t like it when it’s messy,” Naomi chimed in. “He says everything important has a place.” Naomi puffed out her cheeks and deepened her voice. Which only made her voice a little less squeaky. 

You laughed and shook your head. Leave it to your kids to get your head out of your ass. “You’re absolutely right. It’s sunny outside, what are you doing inside the house?” You asked.

You stood up and corralled your kids to soak up the sun, telling them how beautiful their skin is. You told them that the sun loves them so much, it gave them beautiful, dark skin to protect themselves. But that did absolutely mean they should be outside.

They ran into the backyard giggling. You watched as they tossed a ball back and forth, making up some kind of game you never knew the rules to. As you watched, you thought over what Naomi said. 

Your husband did say that a lot. He was the type to have all his little ducks in a row. Including his cheating apparently. Had you not found his phone by accident, who knew how long he would have gone on with it. Months? Years? Would you have woken up some time, sixteen years later to find out that he had an entire other family? 

You shivered. You did not want to end up like one of those true crime shows. Where you found out he was cheating and he offed you to be with his other baby mama. It was sickening. The not knowing was eating you alive. 

While the kids’ laughter filled your ears, you went back into the office. You headed for the file cabinet and flipped through his receipts. He kept copies of everything for at least three years and then routinely shredded them when he was sure that they were no longer needed. 

He had folders for everything, neatly lined up. You took out a huge stack from a few months ago. Mortgage, bills, groceries, and the like were all neatly stacked away. Including…extra expenses. 

You took out that folder and flipped through it. There were receipts from lingerie places. Expensive lingerie. Bracelets, necklaces…your husband was a regular fucking Santa Claus. You read over some of the pieces, things he’d stopped buying you years ago. After the kids.

Tears blurred your vision as you saw just how busy your man had been. So much for that. No wonder he didn’t want to touch you anymore. He found some floosy to bend over backwards. Keeping himself in shape? All for her. And not for the woman he fucking married. 

You let the tears fall, mourning for the marriage and life you thought you were living. You became complacent, allowing yourself to routinely get played. For what? For what?

You felt like screaming. You felt like dropping your kids off at your parents’ and showing up in Miami ready to catch a case. The love died a long time ago. It was the audacity. Because you were still fine as hell. And he was a fuck nigga for trying to dim your shine. Whoever he was with paled in comparison to you. 

You took pictures of all of the receipts in case his ass wanted to come home lying. You were going to the bank in the morning to get more financial records to bury his ass. Dumb ass. For all his self-importance, he forgot who the fuck he married.

You looked around the office, thinking of the house in general. You were going to clean that man out of everything he fucking owned. 

Hurt, pissed off, confused, you stood up and left the room, closing the door to the nonsense. You had kids to look after and make sure they didn’t miss their father’s absence too much. 

You tried to resist, but really, was there any point anymore? While the kids were away the next day, you called Stunna. He was the remedy you needed. You didn’t know what divine intervention placed him in your path or made you take him home. But you thanked the universe and grabbed hold with both hands. 

Stunna arrived promptly at noon, showing up looking exquisite in dark gray sweats and a blood red orange T-shirt. It should have looked funny, but on him, he just looked fine as hell. He was rubbing his hands when you opened the door and his face split into an open grin showing off a row of grills that flashed. 

You had answered the door in your robe, the silky lavender one. You were surprised it still fit, but you weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. The material looked amazing against your skin and you felt sexy, wild, and free while you wore it. It could also be because you weren’t wearing anything underneath it. 

Stunna’s eyes immediately traced your body and you felt it like a physical caress. You pulled him inside, locking the door behind you. Stunna was right there, pushing you against the door. 

“Fuck I missed you,” he said, his deep groan sending all kinds of shivers throughout your body. 

“I missed you,” you said. You grinned, looking up at his tall frame. 

“Hmm, how much you miss me?” He asked. He brought up one of his fingers to your chin, lifting it, to stare deeper into his molten brown eyes. His other hand traveled south, trailing down between your breasts and further still. That hand lifted the hem of your short robe, fingers rubbing against your exposed thighs.

Your legs tingled, feeling like he had more than two hands. You felt him everywhere, all at once. It was insane to want him as badly as you did. It had nothing to do with your husband. It had nothing to do with finding out that that bastard had been cheating for way longer than you thought.

You wanted to feel sexy again. Feel like you were capable of driving someone insane with lust. You hated to admit it but…fuck, your confidence was shot. You spent the whole night last night, crying into your glass of wine feeling rejected by your own damn husband. As much as you tried to talk a big game, you just felt ugly.

And the one person who didn’t make you feel ugly at the moment was the gorgeous man before you. 

He licked his lips slow, a tiny peek at his pink tongue swiping across his juicy lips. His eyes softened a fraction, while his hand slipped between your legs. Finding no barrier, he hummed low in his throat. His fingers eagerly searched through your folds, finding you wet and dripping already.

The anticipation while you got ready made you feel like a younger version of yourself. Back to your early days when you were invincible and no one could tell you a damn thing. 

“All wet and pretty for me, huh?” He asked. There was something so naughty about the way words dropped from his lips. He could say the most innocent sentence and make it sound salacious. 

You nodded, pouting, and turning doe eyes to him. He slipped one long, rough finger inside you and you hissed, arching your back against the door. Your hands came up to grip his shoulders for purchase. 

The finger he held under your chin dropped and he leaned on that arm against the door. His hand was massive next to your head. His breathing grew labored as if he were the one being driven to the height of pleasure.

You’d known him for such a short while and yet he knew you so well. Knew what you needed. Knew what you craved. He stared into your eyes, brows furrowed in concentration, while he continued to finger fuck you. He pushed his finger up to the knuckle and rubbed deep within you, making your knees buckle and your toes curl. 

“You ain’t been takin’ care of yourself,” he said. It wasn’t a question but you shook your head anyway. Between finding the phone and getting the kids together for their play and tearing through the house like a madwoman, you didn’t have time for anything. 

Stunna leaned down and pressed a hot, wet kiss to your lips. He lingered a little while he increased his pace.

“I won’t tease you too bad today, then,” he said. He flipped his wrist over and then made a “come hither” motion, rubbing right against your sweet spot. You began to whine and moan, shaking against the doorway. 

He didn’t let up and didn’t change his pace, stroking you without mercy until you were falling apart on his fingers. Soaking them. You dripped down your thigh and fell against him, your cheek resting against his broad chest.

He kissed your forehead and you sunk even further into him. You didn’t have to worry if he’d catch you or not. He was simply there. An immovable rock that you so desperately needed.

You were floating in an afterglow, but almost immediately, ugly thoughts reared in your head. Thoughts tumbled one right after the other about how your marriage was ruined. You were going to have to break up your family and figure out custody.

Your husband was going to be a dick about the whole thing. Especially when he’d been an absentee father even while in the house. To your kids, their dad was just some man who bought them things on birthdays and holidays. He was never there. And yet, it would crush them all the same not living in the same house with him. 

Tears gathered in your eyes. Fuck, this was a huge mistake. A glaring mistake that you should not have done. You should not have called Stunna. Least of all Stunna. So what…you could use him to make yourself feel pretty? 

God. You were embarrassing. You moved away from Stunna but he held on, trying to look you in the eye. You avoided looking at him, clinging to him since he wasn’t going to let you go.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You shook your head. Your throat began to ache. Too clogged with racing thoughts and conflicting emotions. You were horny, confused, pissed off, elated. Fuck. You were a proper fucking mess and the least sexy thing in the room at the moment. 

“Um, maybe you should go,” you whispered. You didn’t want to ruin his shirt. You made to move again and Stunna leaned back, looking into your glistening eyes.

“Naw, tell me what’s wrong. Did I hurt you?” He asked.

“No!” You said. You shut that shit down. He’d been nothing but wonderful and awesome to you. Dropping everything just to come over and fuck you. You were the messed up one. And it wasn’t polite to talk to your sneaky link about your crumbling marriage. 

Stunna took your hand and led you to the couch. He sat down, spreading his long legs. He pulled you to sit on his lap, curling in close. You rested your head on his shoulder and he idly rubbed your back. 

“Tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

“It’s nothing, I promise,” you sniffled. You wanted to get up and be a big girl. But he was so warm and soft. He smelled faintly like fresh bread and you wondered what he’d been up to all day. Or the past few days. 

You wanted to know everything about him. How he spent his time, what he thought about. You wanted to listen to his voice recite the most beautiful and heartbreaking poetry. 

Stunna kissed your forehead. “You can talk to me about anything. Even if it’s about your husband. That nigga don’t scare me,” he said.

You chuckled. But you also shook your head. That wasn’t…proper, right? There was something off about that. Then again, you were in your home snuggled up with a man that wasn’t your husband. 

Pot meet kettle. Your thoughts were still jumbled. You wanted to slunk off to be miserable somewhere. You didn’t want Stunna to see you like this. It was too early into…whatever this was. 

“You can’t scare me away, you know,” Stunna said softly. His fingers worked magic on your body, relaxing you inch by inch. You felt drowsy in his arms. Protected. 

You sighed. Fuck it. You were already crying and snotting all over him. You couldn’t get any lower from here. You laid out everything for him. How the two of you met. When you were both young and had an insatiable thirst for life. 

How kids were too far in the future, something to happen later. Only later happened much quicker. When you found out you were having twins, you’d never seen your husband so animated. He went crazy. Bought all the baby name books to pick out two cute names. While you were craving weird shit or crying for the millionth time, your husband would plot out your entire future. 

Sports events, plays, raising them together. Yet, after you had them, he was still sweet. But began drifting away. He got too serious. Too caught up in the fact that you had to buy two of everything. Double the diapers. Double the clothes and shoes. Double the toys.

Finances nearly drove you two apart. Until he got in with his company and quickly promoted. Working overtime to keep a roof over your heads and his kids fed. Keeping you secure became the ultimate goal and somewhere along the way, that initial fire died out. Wasn’t even a candle anymore.

You weren’t sure who the fuck you married. Certainly not someone who cheated so fucking easily. Who risked his life as well as yours. Your tests came back negative, thank god, but considering he hadn’t touched you in forever, you were pretty sure you were safe. Besides, you already let Stunna nut in you. 

Unburdening yourself felt good. You had become too isolated in this house. Feeling like you were in a tomb. You and your thoughts echoing in the silent chamber until you were driven mad with loneliness. It felt good being this close to someone again.  

You sighed against Stunna. “Thank you. I don’t know how I can ever repay you,” you said. 

Stunna kissed your forehead. “You don’t ever have to repay me. I’m sorry your bitch ass husband is doing this to you. You too pretty to ever cry,” he said. 

You giggled. “You are too good to my ego,” you said. 

Stunna chuckled, his hands tracing random patterns on your back. “You good for mine too,” he said.

You turned your head to look at him. He looked so innocent sitting there, like there were no thoughts behind those pretty eyes. But the more you stared, the more his eyes seemed to narrow like he was seeing straight to your soul. It was scary as hell, but also a huge turn on. 

Maybe all you needed was a sounding board. Someone to not make you feel so crazy. As you told him the whole sordid affair, he acknowledged that you weren’t tripping. That no, that bum ass nigga was likely cheating and you deserved so much better. 

You tucked those words away into your heart and vowed to cherish them forever. For now…

You grinned and slid off of his lap. He looked at you curiously while you reached for his sweats, pulling them down and freeing his girthy dick.

Fuck he was huge. Thick. The fat head twitching a bit. You licked your lips. You loved making him squirm. 

You licked the tip of his dick, tasting his salty precum. You moaned at the taste, diving in for more and more like you were licking an ice cream cone. He was so large, that you had to fist him to hold him still while you sucked him down.

“Fuuck,” he groaned. His hands flew to your head, digging in for purchase. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

You grinned, suckling him back down. He twitched more in your hands. You worshiped his dick. Knelt at the offering of a god. You sucked and moaned around his dick, applying pressure in alternating waves that made his knees jump. 

His tug at your scalp turned painful, but fuck, it only turned you on more. You loved to please him. To accept him into your mouth and wrap your lips around his fat dick. You drooled, gathering up your saliva to use your hands where your mouth couldn’t reach. You could only take him so far.

Stunna let out a low, tortured groan before unleashing his cum. You drank it all down, sliding the heady concoction down your throat. 

Stunna huffed, panting, looking at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. How were you ever going to keep your hands off of him now?

It was like your husband cheating was exactly the excuse you needed. Asking for a divorce because you were bored or felt unloved was a stupid ass excuse. But asking for a divorce because his lying ass was cheating and you had receipts was the cherry on the cake. 

Stunna grinned, pulling his shirt off and revealing his muscled chest. You whined, running your hands across the planes of his abs. He helped you out of the robe and then he stood up. He shed his shoes and pants, discarding it all into a pile next to the couch.

He pushed you down, face on the couch and ass in the air. He played with your pussy, getting you nice and wet before he was stroking inside, working his dick in.

You whined and moaned, throwing your hand back against his chest. “Fu-too big!” You screamed.

It was one thing trying to get that animal into your mouth. Another entirely to slide inside you. He growled, rubbing your clit. You jerked forward, falling face forward onto the couch.

He gripped your wrists in one hand, pinning it to the top of your ass. “I already nutted in this pussy once so I know you can take it. That shit don’t work no more,” he growled low, filling up the living room and yet making it feel small. Intimate.

He kissed along your back and rubbed furiously at your clit, making you gush around his dick. “That’s it. Let Daddy in,” Stunna moaned.

Fuck, you moaned too. “Oh shit, fuck me,” you cried out. 

“Don’t worry, I know exactly what to do,” he said. You could picture him biting his lip while he increased his thrusts. 

Your voice was muffled against the couch cushion, but you were screaming as he slid in more easily. Somehow, your pussy adjusted to the size of him and he moved like this was his last night on Earth. 

You had no way to push against him since he trapped your wrists. “Fu-fuck, Daddy. Fuck, Daddy,” you moaned.

“Yuh, let me hear it,” he moaned.

You were careening head first into another orgasm, shutting your eyes to the sheer onslaught of pleasure. He still kept up his pace while playing with your clit. You were tag teamed for explosive pleasure.

Another orgasm snuck up on the heels of the second. You were beyond words. Beyond sounds. Just rough exclamations leaving your mouth as he pounded into you like you stole something. 

Shit, maybe you did with the way he was fucking you. 

“Don’t get quiet now, baby. Let me hear it. Sing for me, baby,” he groaned.

“Stunna-fuck! Feel so good, so good. So good, so good,” you couldn’t stop chanting. He did feel so amazing. Fucking you deep. You didn’t know how he went through life with that big dick and didn’t tilt over. 

Maybe that was why he was so damn tall. He needed to be in order to balance that monster. 

Stunna withdrew his fingers, slapping your ass. It was a wet, loud smack that made you groan. “Do it again, Daddy. Spank that ass,” you moaned.

“Fuck, tell me what you need, baby,” Stunna said.

“You. You. Just you,” you drooled onto the couch.

“Give me one more so I can nut deep in this pussy,” Stunna said. He pushed your body down until you were nearly flat against the cushion. He raised your hips, finding a way to get even deeper.

His dick completely filled you up. You felt possessed. Owned. Suffocated with his dick. 

“Stunna, please–I–” You didn’t think you could cum again. You were going to have to replace the couch cushions or something. You felt it getting wetter by the minute. Your essence dripped down your leg.

“When I tell you to do something, you fuckin’ do it,” Stunna growled.

You exploded. You screamed out in pleasure, throat raw from the effort. You gripped his dick with your pussy, fighting to keep him inside while you were breaking apart. 

He groaned and then he was nutting in you once more. Your pussy throbbed and twitched in time with his pulsing dick and your eyes rolled back into your head. You saw stars exploding behind your eyelids. 

Stunna let go of your wrists. You tried to lift yourself up from the couch, but you were weak as hell. 

Stunna slowly pulled out so that he didn’t hurt you. You groaned all the same. He truly was too damn big to be whipping that shit like he was. It was a wonder that he didn’t have a million baby mamas stashed all over the city. 

How the fuck anyone let that man out the house was a mystery. He definitely needed to be tied up in the basement for your pleasure and your pleasure only. You smiled thinking of such a thing.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he said. He kissed your forehead. You melted. Kissing your forehead after some nasty ass shit only made you want to sink into the cushion and never come back up for air.

“Go run yo ass a bath. I’ll get dinner going,” he said.

“But–”

“Do what Daddy tell you,” he said, his voice rough and accepting no arguments. He leaned over you, planting kisses all over your face until you were squealing your assent.

“Okay, okay!” You screamed. 

You didn’t call him over so that he could cook dinner for your family. It didn’t seem right that he cooked it and never got to eat it.

But if you were going to divorce the kids’ father, you didn’t need to bring Stunna around them. As a fun “uncle” or not. No, you needed the divorce to be as clean as you could make it. In the sense that your kids wouldn’t know that you were about to snatch their father through the mud and back out the other side.

You drowsily got to your feet, legs wobbling. Stunna moaned and smacked your ass. “Don’t take too long or else I’ll have to come find you,” he warned.

You winked at him as you sauntered towards the stairs. “Don’t threaten me with a good time,” you said. 

Stunna chuckled, crossing over to you in one long stride. He gripped both sides of your face, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss. If your legs were weak before, you damn sure couldn’t walk now.

He pulled back slowly, eyes still closed. You watched as he slowly opened them. “Everything is going to work out. If you need me, call me. I have no issues taking care of your husband.”

You knew he meant murder and that thought should terrify you. He was shitty sure, but you didn’t want your kids to grow up with a dead father. That was a different can of worms. Best for them to see who their dad really was.

You leaned up and kissed him one more time. “I know where to find you. Thank you,” you said. 

Sometimes, that was really all it took. Someone telling you that everything was going to be okay. Whether it was a lie or not, didn’t matter.

Daddy said it would be okay. And so it would be.

There's always more to love!

The Secret Big Stunna Files | Part 1 | Part 2

[cator99]

2 days ago: a new email from the landlord is dropped. I open it, and damn near toss my phone across the room.

The email can be summed up as such: "Hi everyone just a totally casual reminder that ONLY THOSE CURRENTLY ON THE LEASE are LEGALLY permitted to reside in the home. I've made this very clear. In the off chance that you missed the memo, allow me to reiterate this part on the lease for you. [insert that part in a fancier font here]. To be clear, anyone who is not on the lease as a tenant is not authorized to reside in the home. Anyways so yeah I'll be bringing some handymen over on the 26th to deal with the basement leak."

(Side note– yes, she does say both "I've made this very clear" and "to be clear".)

The house is engulfed by an eerie silence in the following days. Or maybe– in my paranoid state– I'm imagining it. I know for certain that no one wants to touch the damn thing. We all sit and wait for someone else to breach the topic. That "someone else" being the unemployed ftm who has been the primary correspondent with the landlord for at least as long as I've been here, despite all common sense pointing towards this being a task that would be better delegated to literally anyone else– although, seeing as he is now our only unemployed resident, I do consider bestowing this responsibility upon him to be an act of mercy. Something something "enclosure enrichment" etc. So. He finally returned today, and the expected happened. Total pandemonium in the house chat. Thankfully, no one seems to have– at least openly– begun to suspect the obvious, (that, of course, being that this is a sort of warning from a landlord who knows exactly what's going on) and then, from there, extrapolated that perhaps this is the result of a snitch. But who would do that? Couldnt possibly be the one person in the house who has openly expressed concern about the way things have been dealt with. Oh well. Thankfully, the most cogent thought that was expressed on the topic was this:

New Girl remains totally silent as everyone chimps out and devises a plan to give legal aid a call tomorrow. Yknow. Regarding an issue that should more or less be new girl's responsibility to deal with. Hours pass before she finally responds to the questions regarding what she would like us to do. Does she even want to be on the lease? After all the fighting we did to get the landlord to agree to even consider doing so? All this hullabaloo just feels a little silly when she doesn't seem to give a shit either way. She's expressed very little consideration towards these matters at any point (in her defense, she is Cerifiably Slow in that incresingly-rare Not A Malingerer type of way so... I don't expect too much), but right about now, without Pins Girl here to make a stink about it all and whip people up into believing that suburbia-chan's tenancy here is of utmost importance and a real human rights issue, it has become even moreso apparent that she really doesn't care nor understand the implications of this situation. But I digress. Hours after the fact, she drops in with a few words, and leaves it at that.

Imagine purple saying this through gritted teeth. She's one of the 2 relatively-normie-if-a-tad-reclusive (who can blame them) 30 y/o IT-job people who live upstairs. The one who has been volunteered to call legal aid in the morning... sooo valid.....

[sinning5sos]

Having a baby with Calum would include...

2/4 in the father-to-be series :

Calum ~ would be really fucking excited but also really fucking nervous

“Okay so our baby is the size of a lime right now. A lime. Can you believe that?” Calum read off, scrolling through his phone in the bathroom as he got ready for bed. He looked over at you, and smiled as he looked at your stomach, a tiny yet noticeable bump there.

“A fucking lime!” He repeated, “That’s insane. We did that. We made a freaking baby and it’s living.”

“The three month mark is an important one too,” You said, continuing to read your book and Calum hummed to himself as he started brushing his teeth.

“Baby, did you know that it’s good for your pregnancy for you to cum?” Calum stated, and you burst out laughing at your husband. He looked up from his phone as he finished brushing his teeth in the bathroom.

“Calum,” You breathed out, holding your stomach slightly as you looked over at him. He spit into the sink and rinsed, then tucked his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants.

“I’m telling you the truth!” Calum exclaimed, and you continued to laugh at how incredulous he was.

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe you.” You giggled, and he threw his hands up over his head as he collapsed onto the bed beside you.

“Then let me show you,” Calum murmured and he turned over in bed. You put your book down on the bedside table and 

“Before you do that, explain. And Cal, I’m only three months along.” You reasoned, and he chuckled as he knelt between your legs.

“Orgasms cause a release of endorphins and oxytocin, and orgasms apparently help you prepare for giving birth. And that will help you in six months. So obviously, we need to practice.”

“Hmm. Fine, come on baby.” You said, winking at him and he chuckled as he pushed your (his) tshirt up, and kissed the inside of your thighs gently.

Other pregnancy things from Cal would include - 

Ice cream runs at any time of the day

Helping you shower/bathe, especially toward the end of your pregnancy

Lotioning your stomach and giving you light massages

Lots of innocent touches

Lots of naughty touches too

Playing music for the baby and slipping in some old school rock music to educate the baby

Reading to the baby too

Just lots of enrichment for the baby

Him researching everything that can help and nearly passing out at the information of when you’re about to give birth

Having three different bags and birth plans ready to go in case of anything

[becauseplot]

Writing this at ass o’clock in the morning so excuse any incoherency but I can’t stop thinking about how important it is (for me personally) to view/headcanon qFit as entirely perfectly 100% human, and by extension, qCellbit as well.

Like I’m sure ppl have talked about it before but there’s just something so intriguing about having FitMC be Just Some Guy who was hardened by the Wasteland, sculpted by the atrocities he witnessed and committed, no claws or wings or horns or tails to help him. No extra arms for when he lost a limb, no enhanced hearing to make up for his damaged eardrums, no tough scales for when explosions melted his skin, no powerful hybrid instincts to guide him through his life. He is doing everything (hurting, helping, building, tearing, creating, destroying, strangling, soothing, hating, loving, killing, healing) with nothing but his one human hand, which he’s hardened with callouses until it became a set of claws in its own right. He’s been guided by a gut feeling for over ten years now, because it’s all he’s got.

Now. qCellbit. I love cat hybrid qCellbit soooo much, don’t get me wrong. When I think of qCellbit or when I’m writing him, he’s usually a cat hybrid. But just like with Fit, choosing to view qcellbit as 100% human is just as enriching. Small little kid, defenseless and soft and alone, thrown into a warzone. Had to eat his own kind and kill with his teeth and nails and bare hands to survive. Became the most feared thing within the prison walls. Had to learn late in his life how to be a “normal” person in society, something that takes so much time and effort and therapy that sometimes he doesn’t think he is a person. On his bad days, and even on some of his good ones, he views himself as less than human, a creature incapable of loving and being loved. He looks at his hands—tender, naked flesh and blunt nails, ten fingers and two palms—and still sees the claws of a monster.

[xxxcryptidxxx]

hhaiiii bubbaa !!! can i req handler! boothill carin for a lil puppy regressor pretty please ? /nf thank uu vry much !! (╯▽╰ )

Of course I can munchkin!

Our first Pet Regression HC post, how fun! I hope I did this justice ^^

Boothill PetRe Headcanons

Boothill is basically a golden retriever himself, so he'd be honoured to be someone's handler!

—Boothill was very nervous at first, every "what if" scenario under the sun ran through that boy's head. Boothill wanted to make sure his pup felt safe and happy in his care, so he researched as much as he could beforehand.

—Boothill saved up his bounty rewards to get his pup their very first collar, he was so happy to gift it to his pup that he couldn't wait for a birthday or special occasion and just gave it to them immediately.

—Boothill works best with hyper pups, as he himself has a lot of energy, but he absolutely adores low energy pups too. He'll buy an unnecessary amount of blankets, and there's a nice comfy bed for his pup in almost every room of his house.

—Boothill loves spoiling his puppy, toys, treats, special bowls, the pup gets like 80% of his income.

—Having grown up on a farm with sheep herding dogs, Boothill knows better than anyone the importance of keeping his puppy enriched. Boothill will come up with fun and engaging games he and his pup can play, while keeping in mind any limitations his puppy might have—chronic illness, disability, birth defects—he's very considerate. Very mindful. Very cutesy, very demure

—Boothill is admittedly rather bad at enforcing any punishments, especially if his pup is really young. How can he get mad? They're a pubby! Just a lil thing. Ya know that one saying "this hurts me more than it hurts you"? For once it's true. Boothill's more upset than his pup is when punishments happen!

—Boothill always has snacks and treats on hand for his pup, he's careful of any allergies too. If requested, Boothill will also restrict foods like Chocolate or garlic from his pup since bio puppies can't have them either. To make it feel more real for his lil pubby.

—Boothill, head pats, belly rubs, chin scritchies, you ask, he'll give them. Boothill is not opposed to being affectionate. As said before, he's basically a puppy himself, affections come easy.

—Boothill gets a little worried playing games with his pup due to his mechanized body. Tug-of-war is one that really gets him anxious, he's always worried he'll pull too hard on the chew toy and hurt his pups teeth or give them a bruise.

—Bath time is always fun with Boothill, especially in the summer. You know how some puppies like water hoses or sprinklers? Yea Boothill will let his pup play in the sprinkler system or playfully squirt his pup with the hose—if already been told his pup is okay with it, Boothill never sprays them without permission.

—Naptime is the best, Boothill loves to help his pup wind down for bed, be it a bottle, a pacifier, some cuddles, he doesn't mind. His puppy always has the option to sleep on the bed with him, but their puppy bed is available too. Sometimes in the winter of Boothill feels it's necessary, he'll put the dog-bed in his own bed so his pup stays warm no matter what they choose.

—overall a great Handler, might need to get some adjustment time in the start to establish a routine, but once Boothill and his puppy are on the same page, it's smooth sailing from there.

[gust-jar-simulator]

Vio needs some enrichment and the LU quest does NOT give him the opportunity for it.

Characters: Four, the colors.

TW: discussion of torture, Vio being morally dubious.

🌲🌌🏕️🌌🌲

Vio knew exactly why he did what he did, thank you, and did not require external commentary on the subject.

The thing is, this quest had come from... a bit out of nowhere. It was inconvenient. Four occasionally wondered if any of them had left the stove on, or a paddock gate open, or a door unlocked when the portals came. As much as adventure was always a part of being a hero, one could always hold out hope that the last one was really the last one, or at least that they'd have time to tie up loose ends before the next.

Point being, Vio was a very busy man and gallivanting through time and space in the company of Hylia's blessed attack dogs- and yes, the description was accurate, the other three would do well to find some humor in it- took time away from his own personal projects.

Yes, saving the universe was arguably more important than necromantic research.

On the other hand, it absolutely wasn't.

Four sighed and ground his conflicted opinions on heroic selflessness into the swipe of a whetstone, settling into the idle rhythms of camp winding down. Wind was a good storyteller, voice rising and falling and easy to tune out to the edge of his attention, like music. Somewhere, Hyrule and Warriors were cataloguing healing supplies. Time was propped against a tree, taking in the night air and talking quietly to Twilight. A good group of good men. Wholesome. Heroes.

Like us.

You can't be a hero and be completely clean, I think.

I get your point, but... Sky.

...he has to have done something. There's no way.

He's Hylia's boyfriend.

Hylia's kind of a bitch though-

Blue!

There were pranks, and jokes, and the occasional experiment in battle. Using that many bombs on a skulltula was probably a war crime. Legend in particular had a sense of humor sharp enough to cut yourself on, if you took him too seriously, and the more he relaxed the sharper he got. But it was all well within the bounds of reason, safe and couched within the parameters of heroics, of selflessness, of keeping up morale.

When they fell asleep Four dreamed of fire and dragon scales between his thighs, stars blotted out by the smoke of burning homes, and he didn't hate it as wholeheartedly as he probably should. It itched, in his hands, in his gut, in his teeth. Green didn't want to hurt anyone. Red didn't mind a bit of controlled arson. Blue loved a good fight with the feral intensity of a lynel, but could talk himself down or channel it into acceptable targets. Mostly because Red would yell at him.

Vio had to be careful, because something like creaking restraint itched at his tongue and teeth and the clinical glance of his eyes, the way his fingers twitched for a weapon or a quill or both. He was curious. He could call himself curious. He could call himself frustrated, too, denied personal projects and personal space.

Four woke up from dreams of scalpels and equations and ritual component substitutions, nightshade and wormwood and the copper stench of old blood. Vio couldn't even find it in himself to be sorry, but thankfully the others didn't press. It was... easier, when they were separate, to have their own interests. It was no one's fault that Vio had to know if bokoblins were susceptible to poison, or if poe fire had any practical uses. He was simply built the way he was.

About a month into things, they'd almost gotten used to the odd ache in their blood like a smothered flame.

Still.

Four woke up in the middle of second shift, staring at the stars, and Vio's sigh curled between the constellations like dragons' smoke.

It's getting worse. Blue can fight all he likes, there's no shortage of monsters. Green has the satisfaction of heroics and working with fellow knights. Red has Wind and Hyrule and even Wolfie, and there are certainly opportunities to light things on fire.

The others were awake, but there was nothing to say to it. Vio was verbalizing what they already knew.

The last bit, however, he carved out of himself in his own approximation of vulnerability, honest as a vivisection. All I can do is read. I can help with strategy, I have rare chances to educate, but nothing... I have no practical application for my skills. My interests. My... desires. I'm behind in my research.

Are you? Blue's question was a quiet pressure on the bruise.

Well I'd certainly have made more progress by now-

You miss it, Red interjected softly, and something about the comment made Vio bristle like an affronted cat.

I miss HIM, you know I miss him, it's not-

We'd dream more about Shadow if it was just that. Wind in the trees, leaves stirred by cool autumn. It's okay to have hobbies, you know.

It's not just a hobby-

Yeah, sure, it's gay too. A scoff, like the crunch of ice, but fond. You're the last idiot I thought would have trouble being selfish.

And wanting Shadow isn't selfish?

Wanting to do something that wigs the rest of us out is selfish, nerd. At this point I don't give a shit if Shadow shows up for dinner. Stop pining for the chance to dissect keese eyes or whatever and just fucking ask.

Vio didn't quite speak a response as much as he just mentally presented them all with the concept of the Chain. Green made a thoughtful noise, and Red tilted their head a little.

Well... what are you researching?

I want skin samples. Their tongue traced the edge of their teeth, slow and considering and just on the edge of that slow-burning hunger. It was research. Just research. Bokoblins in particular are creatures of darkness, easy to find and easy enough to kill. They're vulnerable to weapons of light, but not sunlight. I want to know why.

A flicker, a spark. Wild has monster parts, you could start there? And if someone else is collecting, there's no reason we can't!

That was very true, very helpful, and full of excellent excuses that would fly perfectly under the radar.

Vio's blood burned like the belly of Death Mountain, breath a little too short, skin a little too sensitive, words shaped as carefully as spun glass. I... appreciate it, Red. Thank you.

It felt like trying to put a candle snuffer on a wildfire.

Blue sighed. You want to tie a 'blin to a chair and peel its skin off while it chokes on a gag.

Vio could not answer that, not when Green reeled back and Red went politely blank in response, but he also really didn't need to. They all knew, some of them just held onto a bit too much hope. So he tugged at the edge of their tunic, shifted a little in their bedroll, and let the night answer for him.

There was the wordless impression of a gesture from Blue, a sort of there it is, and it took a long minute for Red's boundless optimism to chime back in again. Well! I'd really want to do that after splitting, but since we decided it's not safe yet... I mean, we can think about it? There's a lot to plan for something like that- space, time, getting away from everybody. Do you want a forest or a cave. That kind of thing. As long as it's real actual planning, would that help? And maybe journal about it?

Green made a slightly nauseated noise, but presented them all with the reminder that as monster hunters they were pretty good at sketching.

They were... helping. Actually helping. Vio blinked, turned more of his attention to them like a flower towards the moon. It would take the edge off. You're fine with me filling up our journal with that?

Sure! Maybe we can get you your own special one next time we're in town too. And obviously probably use code.

Obviously. He wasn't an idiot.

....if we're doing this, Blue started, hesitant, and we're not splitting for it, then we're gonna... be there.

Most likely. That was the issue, after all. Otherwise Vio would have done something about this within the first week.

Do you care if we're there-there, then? Might as well pull up a fucking chair if we're doing it anyway. I want to see.

Vio stared at the stars and tried to absorb that. You want to see.

I use a hammer, Vio, I'm not a fancy noble. I wanna know what's so great about this. There's more to it, but I break bones for fun, y'know?

It won't be fair, Vio reminded him quietly over Green's steady nausea. It's never fair.

Yeah, well, it's never fair for me either because I'm the fucking best. Checkmate.

They won't be able to get away.

Isn't that kind of the point? We're not sending the bastards to reform school, it's search and destroy. You just... take longer. Blue grimaced, glanced aside, huffed. Look I already know it's gonna be weird and uncomfortable and whatever the fuck, I just wanna know.

...you can read my notes, Vio decided, after I make them. All of you. And then we'll see.

Thank you. Green, shaky but steadfast, and the others swiftly followed with their own.

It was... strange. Vio had certainly never thought to ask. He'd quietly resigned himself to having a breakdown at some point and hopefully returning to normal afterwards. But now the opportunity was there, the chance, the... odd support and even interest.

Four fell asleep that night, dreamless, and woke actually rested for the first time in weeks.

[bigfootbeat]

Bumble, Rudolph, and Colonialism

The Yeti, also known as the Abominable Snow Monster or "Bumble," in the well-known holiday special Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, embodies a popular cultural trope that portrays the unknown as a terrifying creature. This picture is illustrative of the way in which mainstream narratives frequently simplify or misrepresent indigenous cultures and the myths that are associated with them. Himalayan folklore gives birth to the Yeti, a character associated with indigenous narratives and traditional spiritual beliefs. However, in the film Rudolph, Bumble loses his cultural context and transforms into a more generic creature. This is a reflection of a more widespread pattern of colonialism, in which dominating cultures reinterpret indigenous tales and symbols in order to conform to their own points of view while dismissing the relevance and meaning of the original representations.

At the beginning of the story, the other characters feel threatened by Bumble because of his size and strength. His transformation begins when Yukon Cornelius and Hermey the elf take over and bring him under their control. The removal of his teeth renders him totally harmless. The act of taming Bumble is a metaphor for the colonial effort to regulate and assimilate what is considered to be wild or untamed creatures. Similar to how colonial forces suppressed indigenous cultures and practices, the loss of Bumble's teeth symbolizes the erosion of his authority and identity. By putting the star on the Christmas tree instead of his previous life, Bumble discovers a new role in the community of Christmastown at the conclusion of the narrative. The absorption into the dominant culture's values and conventions suggests that individuals who are different need to adapt to gain acceptance. This is a reflection of the colonial narrative of "civilizing" indigenous peoples. It underscores a deficiency in understanding or reverence for the fundamental importance of these civilizations and their traditional beliefs.

Rudolph's depiction of the Yeti serves as a reminder of the importance of addressing indigenous myths and symbols with respect and appreciation for their original context. As a result, it prompts a deeper exploration of the ways in which these narratives undergo modifications and the impact these modifications have on the perception of indigenous cultures. We may move toward more authentic and respectful depictions that acknowledge the true diversity and depth of indigenous traditions and beliefs if we recognize these trends and work toward achieving them. To accomplish this, it is necessary to recognize the intricacy and depth of different civilizations, rather than reducing them to simplified or distorted stereotypes. We can cultivate a deeper appreciation for the diverse cultural narratives that enrich our world by adopting this perspective, ensuring their honor and preservation in their original forms.

[theothergueck]

im gonna continue with my silly narrator lore i might aswell focus on the important guyis

We're gonna start off with the oldest/first narrators to be brought into existence who make up a group known as the firstborn, the group consists of the most powerful narrators (and the eldest as their power grows the older they get) they are the main reason the narrators managed to escape the clutches of their seals and rule their species (allong with the realities they've made)with an iron fist

This is miaryvitr, or Helios, sol, phoebus, bhanu..basically the narrator of the sun and guidals twin brother, he's also the father of solstice!,

Personality: very joyful and over confident, he is prideful in everything that he has created and hates seeing it get destroyed, he's also very laid back most of the time

Appearance: his head is the sun, except it has a mouth with teeth made from a material that looks like clear quartz and gums that are made from black obsidian, his mouth also works as an eyelid for his remaining eyeball, he's constantly on fire and is 12 feet tall(he has to shrink to get to earth so he doesn't accidentally disintigrate it this is the smallest he can get), he wears loose 2 layered cape sleeves covered covered in jewelry which only reach up to his humerus/biceps, he doesn't wear a shirt but rather a short cape, his chest and his body are covered in filaments which work as veins and nerves that are connected to his heart, his pants is a tied up torn piece of toga covered in mostly patterns related to the sun

Lore: he was born allong with his brother guidal, long before their little sister (the narrator of the moon) and the old world came into existence, he was seen as the bigger brother of the two due to his size and his capabilities (he was physically stronger than guidal for example), as they grew older the firstborn(allong with guidal and him, this was when the moon narrator was born) grew bored at the fact that they could barely use their powers, so they created the old world, a narrative to fix that boredom, this also started the creation of more narrators, and robloxians, after the narrators realized the robloxians saw them as gods, they decided to bless them with shelter, food, water, enrichment and Safety, miaryvitr and his little sister used to rule the kingdom before miaryvitr got bored and causing his little sister to overwork herself to keep the robloxians and other species in the kingdom happy, in search for an heir they create equinox and (moon narrators son ((btw narrators cant give birth gotta say this just in case people don't think moon narrator did the boombayah with some other narrator to create equinox, same goes for sun narrator)) and also solstice, miaryvitr's son, both of them aided the two into becoming the great rulers they are today, while guidal was still stuck with his father the aspect of light trying to keep the large kingdom safe from threats (such as the voidkin, and guidal also tending to his dying wife but we will get to his lore in another post), everything was going awesome until dusekkar, scriptliss and Tess, guidals grandson rebelled and caused the kingdom to fall apart, getting most narrators sealed away allong with the old world, miaryvitr blamed guidal for tesses actions and caused a big argument with bro, and after some millennia long isolation they decided to mend their relationship and come up with a plan,(they could talk to eachother as their seals were connected, adding to the fact that they were twins) their plan was: have guidal try to convince someone to sneakily reopen the seals as during the isolation guidal had found a way to interact with dusekkars dimension, find their family members and the rest of the firstborn, and schedule a mass ambush on dusekkars world and reclaim it as their own, creating the world of PRHD except with added spr and spr:dd characters(which worked for a while until protag got too suspicious on why he was missing his memories) in the silly au i created he's posing as a torchkin named sullee who works as guidals right hand man (guidal being the mayor of the large town that is crosstown) until the day of the valestrum rememberance festival (a festival that celebrates the existence of the narrators and all the good they've done(allong with their history), specifically the firstborn and mourning the passing of the old world, yes the old world ends up decaying away as soon as the narrators and the others sealed away in the old world find their way out of it)

fun fact: he was very Bratty when he was younger, unlike his mostly mute twin guidal, often throwing tantrums and setting things on fire when he didn't get what he wanted, to some of the older narrators he was like a child who couldn't grow up, meanwhile guidal was considered an 'old soul'

[dippable]

just watched vita carnis (and went to the hidden youtube link) and ouugghhgh the implications...

okay so, i think vincent bararre's a BIG part of the story- since he had gathered information on the carnis and became a wanted man in canada. in terms of who CARCAS is... i don't really know? i do think they've got a reason to be doing what they're doing but i don't know if they're a governmental entity, or a form of rebellion against the carnis, i just don't know.

now... i'm gonna say something that people don't really agree with. i don't think the prince's tale is some super old story. i think that just before the carnis began appearing, the prince's tale was playing out on that island in hudson bay. i think the critters that found him and helped him heal quicker were humans that saw the potential of the carnis and fed it so that it'd grow and hopefully help humanity. when the prince woke up and worked his magic is when i think the carnis appeared- i think the prince made the carnis to help them, each with different uses. the crawl is for food, the trimmings for comfort, the meat snakes for waste, the mimics for culling humanity's population (and, in a way, cutting down on pollution by just. eating people), the harvester to enrich the soil, the host to make spores that'd force people to help the carnis, the monoliths to protect, and the singularities to power the carnis itself. i think the critters in the forest are meant to represent humanity- and at a time when people began to give a shit about pollution, their home wasn't as bountiful- so the prince gave them what he could. do i know where the prince or the royal family are from? nope!!

i think vincent's story is pretty important too. he's a guy who found his father torn to shreds in his home, then the cops just didn't do anything about it? i'd be pretty miffed too. however, he is outright wanted by the CSIS (for my americans, it's like the canadian version of the CIA) and it's likely he's in grave danger at the moment. i don't really know much else about him (but i do know that after watching the tape with chris and janice, he sighs- knowing the people who tried to find out what happened to his father are now dead must suck.)

for CARCAS, i don't really know much. i do know that in the video where they invade facility zero, the static is green- the exact opposite of red. i feel as though this is a turning point in the carnis. however, seeing the singularities, i was reminded of the giant meat snake from episodes before that used cow skulls as huge teeth. this makes me think, was the cult trying to force a singularity by making a huge mass of meat? maybe the snake was foreshadowing? or maybe the cult wasn't as scientifically advanced, and they tried to make the closest thing to a singularity they knew? i'm not entirely sure. however, i'm scared to know whether or not there are more singularities honestly.

overall great series. facility 0 had me jaw dropped hand over my mouth the entire time and when i saw the singularities i GASPED. super cool i hope to see whatever else there is for it

[pookha]

Vee Noceda, Legally (Sorta Legally, Anway)

Masha's Uncle Vanya helps Camila to adopt Vee. His past connections in the KGB are just what they need for 'legitimate' paperwork.

This is a few months after the events of my story 'No tengo las llaves'.

Masha’s Uncle Vanya sat across from Camila at her kitchen table with Vee sitting between them. He looked older and craggier today to Vee; the deep lines at the corner of his eyes seemed even more dark and valleyed today. His bushy eyebrows raised and lowered hypnotically as he spoke.

“My niece, Lyuba, tells me you have a problem,” he said in his heavily accented English. Now that Vee spoke more Ukrainian and Russian, they could place his accent as Russian rather than Ukrainian.

“I—” Camila hesitated, unsure of this stranger. Lyuba had said he could help, but Camila still seemed scared of him.

“It’s okay, Mom; he’s helped me out a lot while you were gone and Lyuba says that he can help with this sort of thing.” Vee smiled at Vanya who smiled back mischievously with his gold-capped teeth on display.

“How can you help out with this?” Camila asked.

“I know people who can help with documents and immigration status.” He paused before continuing.

“Before I came to this country, I worked with people who were experts at this and some of them have come here now. Most of them were invited by your government and then cut loose when they were no longer useful to them, but they still have those skills.”

Camila looked around the kitchen, not meeting his eyes.

He sighed.

“May I be blunt, Mrs. Noceda?”

She closed her eyes for a moment then opened them and boldly met his eyes.

“Yes, please.”

“When I was a young man, I joined the Red Army. It soon became evident that my skills were in administration and…facilitation. I was able to connect people with supplies they needed. It was like that ‘Radar’ character in your T.V. show ‘MASH.’ The Red Army was corrupt with officers who had bought their commissions or their parents had so their children could get ahead. It wasn’t supposed to be so, but even then oligarchs were the hidden power behind Communism.”

Camila nodded.

“When I was in my mid-twenties, I was sent to Afghanistan right at the start of the war. My colonel saw money in the poppies and started exporting the products of them. Opium and heroin, not to put too fine a point on it.”

“You helped him smuggle drugs?” Camila asked, frostily.

“Da, it was either that or being shot quietly behind a tent. I worked as a go-between and I took care of the import paperwork. Officially the colonel was importing antiquities so they would not be destroyed in the war. His cover story to those who knew was that he was importing them to enrich himself. Actually, he was importing opium and then it was being sent out to other countries. This was also a cover. He was actually KGB and he was diverting the drugs to be sent to countries that were hostile to the Soviet Union, like America. It was covers on covers on covers, so if you discovered one there was another beneath it: matryoshka.”

He paused and Vee got him a glass of water. After he had drunk, he continued.

“He saw potential in me and I was recruited to the KGB. Most of my job was to find how to move assets, both people and products, from one country to another. I cultivated people I knew from my youth and bribed others in businesses that would be useful, like printers. I got to know how to forge a passport and have it pass muster. I knew how to make an import paper look innocent and even more, I knew how to make one look suspicious so it looked like a minor crime and could be bought with a bribe, when actually it was a major crime instead. Eventually, I was able to make my way to Hungary, which in those times was a way out from behind the Iron Curtain for those who were searching.”

He pointed at Vee.

“That is how we solve your problem.”

“What?” Camila asked, confused.

“If we just make up an adoption, birth certificate, Social Security number out of whole cloth, it will be hard for it to pass muster, especially in this digital age. We must have Vee be from overseas, preferably from a country that has poor digital records. Even then, if you make it look like a legitimate adoption it would be easy to disprove. My suggestion is that Vee was born in Cuba and went to a Dominican orphanage after their parents died trying to cross in a boat. They were there for a very long time before you met them when you went to visit your grandmother. We make it look like it was tough to adopt them and you had to resort to a ‘gray-market’ adoption through a shady agency. It’s not actually illegal and many people resort to it. It is a way to bypass some of the stricter regulations on overseas adoptions, and it is much easier to hide in paperwork.”

He turned to Vee.

“I know you speak Spanish. Can you learn to speak Spanish like a Dominican who was born in Cuba? I don’t just mean accent; I also mean slang and idioms.”

Vee nodded.

“Languages are easy,” they said.

“Ah, that’s an issue, though,” Vanya said.

“What are you? Are you відьма?” (He pronounced it vidma in the Ukrainian way.)

“I’m not a witch,” Vee said in a very small voice.

“What then? Rusalka? Pixie of some sort? I know you are not human.” His voice was stern and confident.

“They’re my daughter,” Camila said, starting to rise from her chair. Her voice was rising to match her.

Vanya waved a hand.

“That may be, but they are not human and I see you know it, too.”

He turned to Vee again.

“I don’t believe you will hurt my Masha or my Lyuba, but I must know. What are you?”

He folded his arms across his chest.

“I’m a shape-shifter from another dimension.” Vee’s eyes filled with unshed tears.

“I promise I love Masha; I would never hurt them.”

“Da, that I believe,” Vanya said.

“I—I can show you if you want?” Vee asked, looking at Camila, who nodded.

Vanya breathed in slowly then let out the breath through his nose.

“Okay.”

Vee changed to their natural form.

“боже мой,” Vanya said, but without much inflection. He certainly wasn’t as shocked as Lyuba had been the first time Vee had changed in front of her.

Vee changed back to their preferred human shape.

“You didn’t seem surprised like Lyuba was,” Vee said.

“I have seen a lot in my years, and once I saw an Ifrit in Hungary. I didn’t believe it at first, but I saw it again and knew it must be so. Lyuba saw a mavka once; although, if she’s not told you that story, it’s not my place to do so.”

“She told me,” Vee said, their voice tiny again.

“Then you know that sometimes, even in this world, there are creatures, beings from elsewhere. Yes, like you.” He nodded at Vee who was about to speak, but they closed their mouth with a snap.

“Some of them are bad, like the mavka. Some are neutral like the ifrit, concerned only with its own matters.”

Now he smiled again.

“And some are good, like you. I haven’t known you long, but I know good and evil; I have seen evil over and over from the KGB to your CIA to just humans being evil to each other and you are not evil. You are good and you care about your family and I think one day Masha will be part of that family. I know you are young still, but I have also seen true love a few times in my life and what you have looks like true love.”

Now he turned to Camila.

“Also, I have seen your other daughter and her girlfriend around. You are lucky to have two children who found true love.”

Tears filled Camila’s eyes.

“Thank you,” she whispered back.

“Now, unfortunately, I must talk about money. Because you are family I can do this cheap, but cheap is still $50,000.”

Camila put her hand to her mouth. Vee knew Camila could pull that from her 401k if she had to, but it would be dear. Vee had taken care of the finances for almost three months while Camila was in the Demon Realm.

“What would it cost if we weren’t family?” she whispered.

“Between $100,000 and $150,000, most of that is bribes and attorney’s fees; although they are really the same thing.” He laughed grimly.

“I—I can do that,” Camila said, “but it will take a bit to get it.”

“There is no rush. It will take a few weeks to set things up.” He slid a card across to her. It was for a family law and immigration lawyer.

“He will be your contact from now on,” Vanya said, rising. Vee stood with him and hugged him. He ruffled their hair and kissed the top of their head.

“I hope to live long enough to see you become family formally, but I consider you family already.”

Vee knew he meant it and that it meant a type of protection that they didn’t have before: a protection provided by Vanya’s associates.

He held his hand out to Camila who was standing now. She ignored the hand and hugged him, too. He kissed each of her cheeks in an oddly old-fashioned gesture, then left through the front door.

Camila sat heavily again.

“Mom, I know how much it costs, you don’t have to do it if it’s too much.”

Camila waved Vee to her and Vee knelt next to her. Camila took both of Vee’s hands in hers.

“I don’t care how much it costs. If we don’t do it, you’ll never be able to stay here legally and you’ll always be looking over your shoulder. I love you and want you to be happy.”

Vee leaned their head onto Camila’s lap and tears began to soak Camila’s legs.

Two months later, the paperwork came through just in time for Vee to go to school. They took some tests at the school's insistence and got placed into junior year, the same as Masha. Luz harrumphed at Vee being the ‘older’ sister since she’d just be a sophomore, but also cried happy tears when the lawyer gave Vee her green card, adoption papers (with her new name ‘Vee Noceda’) and ‘birth certificate (with the fake birth name ‘Victoria Ivanova).’

“My sister,” Luz had said and hugged Vee. Luz had corrected herself quickly, “Sorry, sibling.”

Vee waved it off; they were used to being thought of as female and didn’t mind it anymore.

“Sister is fine,” Vee said and hugged Luz tighter.

Later Vee texted Masha.

Official now.

They thought about texting more, but Uncle Vanya had warned them about committing too much to electronics or in writing.

Going to start working toward actual citizenship soon.

Vanya had also said that would give them an additional backup to their I.D. that would discourage further digging as long as they didn’t try to get a job that needed a security clearance.

Vee looked at the clock, knowing that Masha was probably just finishing practice and not yet on their way to work. They texted again.

Love you. Camila and I will pick you up after work. We’re going out with Luz and Amity to celebrate. Bring your appetite.

Masha texted back a few minutes later.

Sry on way to work now love you see you after work hoping dessert will be sweet kisses

<3 <3 <3

Vee texted back.

💏

<3 <3 <3

[chuckabeth]

GAH this is too long. I’m sorry my brain is like this but not sorry enough I guess.

I’m a frickin bel canto singer. Guess what else? I’m sick and disabled! Chronic pain all over, weakness, exhaustion, debilitatingly tight muscles. Yet my favorite mode of artistic expression is so body-intensive it would not be wrong to call it a sport.

You might have heard how important it is to open and have control of your mouth for resonance while singing - my jaw simply won’t swing open all the way. You might have heard how important it is to relax enough to give your diaphragm room for as much air as possible - turns out I might not be able to do that properly, either. And much of the time it HURTS to frickin breathe!! In order to sing!!!

I’m gonna need physical therapy in a way other singers won’t, and maybe I’ll never unlock my instrument’s “full” potential, but I have heard literally dozens of people tell me they’re wowed that such a powerful sound can come from such a small body - and my sound!! By bel canto standards!!! Is very small!!!! Yet I’m doing it. I’m “passing.” All the love in the world to Andrea Bocelli, but vision has so little to do with his incredible bel canto technique. I’m trying to do what he (and Audra McDonald and Renee Fleming and more realistically Kathleen Battle and Elin Manahan Thomas) do, with my tight, pain-riddled, exhausted, underweight body with a mouth too small for the normal amount of teeth.

DOESN’T MATTER. Just like the previous commenter said, I’m gonna do what makes my heart sing. While…literally singing from my heart lol. The joy of this kind of self-expression makes all worth it. And some day I’m gonna show everyone what Mimì from La Bohème really sounds like, from my wheelchair and all.

So when AI tries to synthesize voices and music and whatever the heck, off the hard work of Bocelli and McDonald and Fleming and Battle and Manahan Thomas, not to mention the music of real genius composers AI has already tried to parrot, it isn’t going to hold half a flame to the passion, soul, and fascinating human interpretation of the pieces they choose to perform, or develop/write themselves. I have a disabled friend who composes and directs choral/symphonic pieces that rival John Rutter, and she does it while raising a family, managing grad school, SSI for her veteran husband, not to mention supporting other college students in countless extracurriculars… Because she frickin LOVES it.

Stop talking about ableism and stop talking about AI when you don’t know what you’re talking about. AI isn’t like medicine or mobility devices or prosthetics or therapeutic devices, and it isn’t even like being shown simple human value and decency like we demand. AI is nothing more and nothing less than robbery, of abled and disabled people alike. And remember, most important of all - we disabled don’t work hard at these “impossible” things for your inspiration porn. We do it because it ENRICHES our lives, lives that capitalist systems and governments taking on those ideals actively try to limit and impoverish. Don’t impoverish us even further with more legalized theft.

And if you are disabled and one mode of artistry just doesn’t turn out to be worth the hard work for you, that’s okay. Or maybe it’s not a matter of hard work, maybe right now the ability is simply blocked off. That’s okay, too. Mourning is part of that process, and I’m with you. But I know you can find something else to love, something for which you can learn and build good honest skill and labor. It’ll be far more worthwhile, I promise.

"ai is making it so everyone can make art" Everyone can make art dipshit it came free with your fucking humanity

[balajitravelstnagar]

Infant Darshan at Tirumala: What You Need to Know

IntroductionVisiting Tirumala Tirupati for the holy Infant Darshan can be a life changing experience for parents and their little ones. The thought of seeking divine blessings with your infant can be exciting, but it often comes with the worry of travel logistics, long waiting lines, and comfort concerns. Padmavathi Travels offers a specialized Infant Darshan package that simplifies your journey, making it smooth and memorable.

What is Infant Darshan at Tirumala?

Infant Darshan is a special provision at the Tirumala Tirupati Devasthanam (TTD) for parents visiting the temple with babies under one year of age. This service allows families to have a quicker and smoother darshan experience without having to wait in long queues. It is a way to prioritize the needs of parents and infants while ensuring everyone gets to seek the blessings of Lord Venkateswara.

TTD Infant Darshan Rules

Infant Darshan Timings: 8:30 AM - 10:30 AM & 12:00 PM - 6:00 PM

Darshan Cost: Free

Age Limit for Infant: Below one year

Allowed Persons with Infant: Parents and siblings (below 12 years)

Entry Point: Supatham Entrance

Required Time for Darshan: 1-2 hours, depending on the crowd

Frequency: Once every three months

For One Day Package Enquiries: +91-6384433111

Infant Entry in Tirumala - Important Notes

Required Documents and Procedure

Supatham Location: Supatham is conveniently situated 100-150 feet from the Vaikuntam Queue Complex Entrance for Infant Darshan.

Documentation Required: Parents must present the infant's birth certificate or valid age proof, along with identification for any siblings accompanying the infant for verification during the darshan.

Darshan Timing: Infant Darshan is available from 12 PM to 6 PM, allowing flexibility for parents to plan their visit conveniently.

Ticketing: There are no tickets needed for infants and their parents, ensuring a hassle-free entry process without the need for prior booking.

Accompaniment Rules: Only parents and siblings (under 12 years) are permitted to accompany the infant during the darshan; other relatives or friends are not allowed.

Additional Information and Services

Free Admission: Entry is free for infants, their siblings (under 12), and parents using the Supatham Entry for a quick darshan.

ID Requirements: It’s necessary to have the birth certificate for the infant, along with ID proofs for the siblings and parents to facilitate verification.

Age Limit: Infants under one year are eligible for the Infant Darshan. Staff may verify eligibility by checking for baby teeth or other indicators.

Frequency: Infant Darshan is offered once every three months as part of the free darshan service, effectively managing crowd flow.

Booking Process: There is no formal booking required; parents can approach Supatham during the specified hours with the necessary documents for entry.

Why Choose Padmavathi Travels for Your Infant Darshan Trip?

When it comes to spiritual travel, convenience and comfort are critical, especially with infants in tow. Padmavathi Travels has earned a reputation for providing hassle free journeys to Tirumala, focusing on efficiency and well being. Here are some benefits:

Smooth Travel Experience: They arrange everything from pick-up to temple visits, ensuring a seamless experience.

Expert Guidance: With knowledgeable drivers and guides like Mr. Sadasivam (famous for his cooperative and prompt service), you’ll be in safe hands.

Customized Itineraries: Tailored stops at nearby temples and landmarks make your trip spiritually enriching.

Comfort First: The package includes comfortable transportation, suitable for both infants and adults, keeping everyone relaxed throughout the journey.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How does Infant Darshan work at Tirumala?Infant Darshan is available for parents with infants under one year. You’ll need to carry proof of your baby’s age, like a birth certificate. Once verified, you can access a special queue, minimizing wait times and ensuring a smooth darshan.

2. What documents do I need for Infant Darshan?You’ll need a valid birth certificate to confirm your baby’s age. It’s also advisable to have government-issued photo ID cards for both parents for verification purposes.

3. Can I carry baby essentials inside the temple premises?Yes, you can bring baby essentials like diapers, feeding bottles, and a small blanket. However, it’s recommended to carry only the essentials to ensure a hassle-free experience.

4. Is there any fee for Infant Darshan?Infant Darshan itself is free of cost. However, if you book a package through Padmavathi Travels, their fee will cover transportation, guidance, and other logistical services.

5. How do I book an Infant Darshan package with Padmavathi Travels?Booking is simple! You can visit their official website or contact their customer support. It’s best to book in advance, especially during peak seasons, to secure your preferred travel date.

[rabbitcruiser]

National Help A Horse Day 

On of mankind’s closest companions, horses require lots of gentle, loving care to thrive, which is why horse lovers take part in National Help a Horse Day.

No horsing around – today is an opportunity for you to be a good ‘neeeiiigh-bor’ as it’s National Help A Horse Day! This important occasion aims to raise awareness of the struggles that equines all over the world face and contribute to efforts saving them from cruel and inhumane situations.

Horses are very distinctive animals, well known for their grace and beauty. While there over 300 different breeds, they can be grouped into three main types – “hot bloods”, which are fast and bold, “cold bloods”, which are strong and calm, and “warm bloods”, which are a blend of the two and tend to be good for riding.

They can be flighty animals and scare easily, which also means they’re able to sleep standing up in case a quick getaway is needed! A horse’s teeth are incredibly long and gradually emerge into the mouth (a process known as “erupting”) over the course of its life to replace what’s been ground down by chewing. And of course they’re excellent runners, able to move in a variety of gaits including trotting, cantering and full-out galloping!

History of National Help A Horse Day

Alongside the loyal dog, horses are often referred to as man’s best friend, and it’s no wonder! Over the course of human history, these majestic beasts have been the backbone of civilization and have done much of the heavy lifting in human endeavors, often literally!

Tamed around 5 millennia ago, equines have been crucial across a wide range of areas including transport, agriculture, warfare and ceremonial occasions. More recently they’ve also become a staple in the world of sport, have been used as therapy animals and, perhaps above all, have won many a heart as faithful companions.

And yet there is also a dark side to our history with horses, with mankind often treating these dedicated animals with cruelty and contempt. In recent years, stories of their neglect and abandonment have also continued to rise as some owners have found the cost of looking after them simply too much to cope with.

National Help A Horse Day was started by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA) in 2014, but its origin dates back much further to the creation of the ASPCA itself. It all started in 1863 when Henry Bergh, an American diplomat posted in Russia, saved a horse from being abused by a carriage driver. The owner responsible was arrested on 26 April that year for his mistreatment of the animal, the first time this had ever occurred, and Bergh went on to found the ASPCA in 1866. National Help A Horse Day therefore honors this significant date for the ASPCA and horses everywhere.

The society now hosts an annual Help a Horse Home Challenge to mark the occasion – the challenge is a nationwide competition for horse shelter and rescue centers, with the winners receiving a generous grant to further their work. And National Help A Horse Day has spread both in the US and internationally, with people all over the world celebrating these amazing equines and raising awareness of the cruelty and neglect they can be subject to.

Why horses need our help

Given their loyal and caring nature, it’s no surprise that horses are a popular pet. Yet due to their size and complex needs, they can be pretty expensive to care for. Sadly this leads to many horses being neglected or abandoned, sometimes by unfeeling owners but often by well-intentioned ones who simply no longer have the resources to cope. Neglected horses may lack the sustenance, shelter, medical treatment and enrichment they need for high-quality and fulfilled lives. Some may even be abandoned elsewhere and left to their own devices in a practice known as “fly-grazing”.

Pet horses are only part of the issue, however. Perhaps far more of a threat are unscrupulous breeders and dealers who churn out these animals by the dozen with only their pockets in mind and no thought for the horses’ welfare. This is why stricter animal protection laws and regulations are needed to prevent such heartless exploitation of these creatures.

Sport is another area in which horses can be maltreated – horse racing, for example, can be dangerous for the animals, with many put down if they are injured as they are then considered a mere expense. Similarly, working horses are at risk of abuse and exploitation, again by businesses determined to make a profit over all other considerations. Rescue centers and sanctuaries are therefore vital for helping horses, by saving them from harsh conditions and providing them with safe new homes.

The horse meat trade is another controversial area, with many opposed to its consumption. It’s illegal in various parts of the world, particularly the US, and over the years various concerns have been raised about the quality and source of the meat.

Wild horses are also at risk. Well-loved as a symbol of freedom, there are issues with how overpopulation is managed, with “mustangs” in the US often captured and placed in holding pens. Humane solutions are needed to ensure that wild equines can thrive as well as their domesticated counterparts.

How to celebrate National Help A Horse Day

National Help A Horse Day is your chance to make a real positive contribution to the care and protection of horses. Send a donation to an equine charity, sanctuary or rescue center of your choice or volunteer for one near you if you can spare the time! Another great way to bring about change is to sign petitions demanding better care for these faithful friends who have served us so well over the centuries.

If you come across a neglected or abandoned horse, then be sure to get in touch with a local animal welfare organization who will be able to rehabilitate and rehome it. And if you have the space and inclination, why not consider fostering or even adopting a horse yourself?

Take time out of your day to find out more about these charming creatures and the threats they face – be sure to share what you find out with family, friends, colleagues and your social media following so that many more people will be inspired to give vulnerable horses the help they need. Check out some of the many excellent horse documentaries available, such as Running Wild: The Life of Dayton O’Hyde, which follows a cowboy’s struggle to protect wild horses in the US, and Equus: Story of the Horse, which details mankind’s relationship with these animals over the years.

If you’re lucky enough to live near horses or perhaps even have a four-legged companion of your own, then National Help A Horse Day is a great opportunity to show them some extra love. Share an apple, carrot or sugar cube with a local horse you know and take them for a ride or trek (all with its owner’s permission of course!).Be sure to spread the word this National Help A Horse Day to give equines everywhere the best chance at a happy, healthy future. All they need is a helping hand (after all, most of them are already at least 10 hands high!) to enjoy a better life.

Source

[m3rricat]

You Do Not Have To Be Good - Ch. 6

Story summary: Four months after the defeat of the Netherbrain, Astarion finds himself stuck in the mire of his past and all the anger and despair that comes with it. While wrestling with her traveling-companion-turned-lover’s misery, Cat makes an impulsive decision that sets off their first falling-out. This post-game short story is told alongside the full in-game story of the evolving relationship between Cat (the not-a-bard) and Astarion (needs no introduction) which varies from canon. Told from both POVs.

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 6: enrichment is important for your vampire; then, Astarion is doing just fine. He's doing so great you guys don't even know

Pairing: Astarion x female Tav

Chapter Content Warnings: none

Word Count: 3385

Read on AO3

__

The blood sings, and all is right with the world.

Astarion’s focus has narrowed to his prey’s scent as he follows it down the warren of back lanes of the Lower City. Ranza’s men must have bloodied Natale thoroughly because the trail is strong even now, probably nearly an hour after Natale had stumbled this way.

It leads Astarion on a merry chase. He darts from alley to alley at top speed. Lurks a breath behind a passing Flaming Fist patrol like he’s stalking them—he thinks about a cheeky pickpocketing, but relents at the last second. And as the scent leads him along a stretch of the Lower City wall, he sprints across the face of it with his newly restored spider-climbing, skimming over the rough stones as the city sprawls beneath him, half-swallowed in mist.

He does not need to cut loose like this. But he does because he can. Because it’s fun to let the monster in him out. He is strong, and fast, and hungry. He feels so wonderfully predatory. So wonderfully in control.

This sort of hunt is clean. It is right. Not the kind he did for those two centuries where he laid himself out as bait and let himself be ravaged. No more would he have to grit his teeth as a part of himself was inevitably lost. So many bits of him, scattered all over. Taken by those who had no idea what their one night together did to him. And then they too were taken.

Two centuries where Astarion gave himself out piecemeal, and the one monster who gained from it was now no doubt a rat-chewed skeleton in his own cellar. Everything Astarion suffered for, and nothing to show for it. He had screamed over it. Wept over it. Laughed himself hoarse over the magnificent joke of his un-life.

He still does not understand why his outlook changed so suddenly weeks past. For a time he had been so happy in his new freedom with Cat by his side. But now, for seemingly no reason all, it feels like everything he does to make meaning, every scrap of happiness he tries to salvage is like trying to fill a yawning abyss by the teaspoon. He hasn’t told Cat about these thoughts. Hasn’t ever wanted to imply that she was nothing to him. But it had very nearly slipped out from behind his teeth tonight.

Astarion stops at the end of an alleyway, hiding around the corner as knots of drunks spill out of a tavern across the lane, casting long shadows in the pool of light outside the doorway. His pause is less about avoiding attention and more because his brain has stopped cooperating. Not letting him be the simple beast on a hunt he desperately wants right now. No—it is determined to go around and around in the same tired rumination he has been trying to stomp out all night.

It's because his hot anger is now breaking down into its base components: irritation and shame. He is still greatly annoyed that Cat went where she did and hadn’t told him until her hand was forced. Annoyed that her babbled explanation was essentially that she did so to relieve herself of the horrors of his past. But that is where the shame rushes in. Because she is affected by it. Because she sees him trapped in it and tries to drag him out time after time. And then, she has to endure his venom, like tonight—

Astarion forces himself to move—quickly, hugging the shadows, down one street and then a side lane and then a winding alley where Natale’s blood calls to him. Because he cannot let himself follow that line of thinking any further. Cannot let himself wonder too deeply why Cat should even stay.

~

The last time Astarion sees the sun, it is outside the ruined temple of Selûne before the companions start their trek through the Underdark. They arrive back at the temple at nightfall and decided to camp outside one last time, to breathe in the fresh air for as long as possible before the descent.

Astarion had been worried the morning might be cloudy. It had been mostly overcast that night as he watched the sky sleeplessly. He felt foreboding. The prospect of losing the sun again for who knew how long weighed on him. And other uncertainties weighed on him almost as much.

Cat had turned away from him wordlessly the night of the party as he struggled to process what she had shown him. What his calculated reaction should be. They had said nothing to each other the next couple days through this night as the group retraced their steps to the temple.

But that was fine with Astarion. He should be thankful, really. The ordeal had been the push he needed to untangle himself from her.

He tries to empty his head of all its endless fretting and fussing and second-guessing as he watches the rising sun one last time. It peers over the ruins of the courtyard walls, burning through the mist. Molten gold. The loveliest thing Astarion has ever seen. The rays hit him where he stands to greet them, and the warmth melts into his body. He closes his eyes to feel it better. If only he could eat of it, keep a bit of it in his belly to remind him in the long dark.

There is the bustle of camp being packed up going on behind him, but that’s not what makes him turn suddenly. He feels it like a feather touch on the back of his neck.

Cat is looking at him from a distance. She’s dressed in her leathers, ready to head out, arms crossed and hands grabbing at her elbows like she’s cold in the early morning chill. The sunlight hasn’t quite reached her yet. She doesn’t turn away when their eyes meet. Her expression is soft. A bit sad. Then she shifts hers stance, and her face moves like she’s about to say something.

But she stops abruptly. Her mouth snaps shut. She bows her head and turns away.

Glancing over his shoulder, Astarion lets the sun sear his eyes one last time before turning to follow her into the dark.

~

The Underdark is an alien world.

There is something trying to kill them around every other corner, but it is—Astarion can’t quite find the words for it. Though they are deep underground, there is nothing oppressive or tomb-like about it. There is so much life down here—lethal, and thriving on the corpses of those less successful. It is beautiful in its constant struggle, in the strange forms both plant and animal have taken to scratch out a life in the endless dark.

Cat has thrown herself back into being the level-headed leader. She plays friend to all—which is not to say she is not genuinely friendly with some of them. Astarion sees that true crooked smile of hers come out when she is having a quick word with Shadowheart, or even Lae’zel. But a quick word is all he ever sees from her. After him, she does not seem to be seeking out anyone to confide in.

And then there is their newest companion: Halsin. Or, rather, he is their new guest. He remains at camp always, a looming presence exuding calm and wisdom that Astarion finds ever so slightly irritating. Cat has been the consummate host to him, unfailingly polite—but again, never stepping beyond that bound. However, Astarion sees how the druid looks pointedly interested in everything she has to say. Sees the way his eyes trail after her as she bustles around the camp. He can’t tell if Cat has noticed; if she has, she has given no sign. Astarion feels nothing about it. Mostly. Except for a stupid, smug little twinge in the infantile corner of his mind every time he sees her blow past Halsin’s obvious interest.

But he can allow himself to be happy about it because it shows she is not seeking to have with others what she had with him. That she is not more closely allied with anyone else. Not that it would ruin his plans if she did fuck someone else. Sex was just an activity, after all. As he ponders this, visions come unbidden to him of Cat mauling Halsin the way she had done him, dragging the massive elf down on top of her—

Astarion clenches his jaw, stalking off to find a distraction somewhere in camp.

They are camping amongst the myconids tonight—or was it today? They try to keep some sense of time, though the decision to pitch camp tends to just happen when the majority are tired enough. Most everyone is exhausted now, having just come off a fight with a massive bulette just outside the myconids’ territory. Some have already crawled off to sleep. Astarion assumes Cat has as well when he can’t find her.

And then a hissed whisper behind him: “Astarion! Come here!”

He whirls around. Cat is half-crouched like she’s trying to be stealthy (bless her, but it wasn’t one of her talents). She’s grinning wide at him. He feels himself mirroring her.

“What?”

“Just—just come up here, I want to show you—”

She scuttles back the was she had come from, up what appears to be a slag pile. She steps carefully on the loose shale, managing to not send it all tumbling down. Astarion follows, bemused.

And then they crest the top. Astarion is about to ask what exactly she’s showing him when the light from below catches his eye.

Spread out in a massive canyon under them are huge gnarled branches covered in clusters of light. It’s a tree, Astarion realizes, as his eyes adjust and he starts to see more detail. It must be a hundred yards wide, if not more. White light outlines all if its thousands of leaves, which casts a ghostly glow over all. It looks utterly ethereal. There are brighter points all along it—flowers, with eerie blue auras.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Cat says at last.

Astarion tears his eyes away and looks over. She’s illuminated from below by the soft glow, still smiling. It crinkles her eyes. His brain is in overdrive trying to puzzle out what’s going on, why she dragged him and only him up here to… look at something? What was she—

“It really is… astounding,” he says honestly, willing himself to ignore the contortions in his mind as he turns back to the sprawling, primordial-looking tree.

“I wonder what the hell it is? I’m assuming it’s deadly, somehow,” she muses.

Astarion chuckles. “A very safe assumption, down here.”

“It’s something down here, isn’t it? Not very relaxing, but—bracing.”

“Ha. Bracing like a cool breeze?” he laughs as she rolls her eyes. “No, I know what you mean. I would consider spending some extended time here, should I lose the sun along with the worm.”

“How are you doing, by the way?” Cat asks, her concerned tone a jarring end to their lighthearted back-and-forth. Astarion looks sidelong at her. He should answer her flippantly. He should brush her off. Go back to the tried and true.

“How do you mean?” he hears himself say.

“Well,” she starts, apparently realizing that there are several things she could be referring to. “I mean. Not having seen the sun in a while. And that it looks like we won’t see it for weeks yet, if Halsin’s right about these shadow-cursed lands.”

Astarion knows why she’s asking. That’s the one thing he’s sure she saw in his head. His first sunrise in 200 years. It rankles to think that he couldn’t keep that for himself; rekindles his intense discomfort at her holding so many of his cards. “I survived just fine all this time without it. I’m not so weak, you know.”

“You know I don’t think you’re weak,” she says, with slight exasperation. Then she sighs. “Sorry, just—it occurred to me.”

It occurred to him, then, that he was completely unused to having someone think of him. Kindly, at least. To remember things about him, little things he said, and not have the reason be to keep it in their back pocket to hurt him with later. Most of his siblings could be counted on for it. And Cazador always had the litany of his transgressions, from smallest to largest, close at hand to recite as justification for his endless tortures.

Astarion's instincts remain strong, despite the fact he knows that Cat is genuinely concerned. That she is not thinking at all to turn her question into a cruel joke. His mind is terminally infected to believe otherwise.

But he tries to choke it out anyway. To maintain good relations. “I’m—sorry. I do miss it. Somewhat.”

Cat nods but stays silent, watching the strange landscape below.

Astarion glances at her again, and ventures his own question. “You seemed determined not to… alert anyone else when you came and got me. You didn’t think the others would like this?”

Cat pulls a face. “Oh. maybe I will show them later, but—there’s been a lot of togetherness today.”

Astarion puzzles over her strange answer. Was he not… included in this togetherness? But then that little, infantile voice in his mind takes advantage of his confusion and blurts out: “because, I’m sure Halsin could tell you all about this spooky tree.”

Cat looks at him, lips pursed. “Yeah… he might.” She turns away again. “He also might take it the wrong way.”

Oho. “He has been rather… attentive.”

Cat grimaces fully now. She looks at Astarion. He can practically see the wheels in her head turning before she leans in conspiratorially. “Astarion. Promise me you won’t tell anyone.”

He has no idea what she’s about to say. “Of course, darling,” he whispers back without hesitation.

She sighs. Leans in further. “Halsin looks so much like my grandpa.”

Astarion’s eyes widen. His mouth opens but Cat suddenly jumps in as she realizes—“Not—not my murdering grandpa! My ma’s father—he’s a very nice man. Well, he’s sort of a pirate. Sometimes. But very nice—”

“So you have a very attractive pirate grandfather. Cat, wonders never cease with you,” he crows, trying to keep his voice down, but it is thick with trying not to laugh. “Oh, Halsin will be so very disappointed.”

“No, he won’t. Because you won’t be telling him.”

“Oh, my dear. You’re going to have to let him down gently eventually. This would put an end to it. Maybe haunt him for a little while too.”

They part that night on that lighthearted note, but Astarion can feel the lingering questions between them. His eyes follow Cat until the moment she disappears in her tent. He finds himself hoping she’ll glance back, but she doesn’t. He makes himself walk away.

He tries to maintain this equilibrium of what he supposes is some kind of friendship. A couple days later, Cat sets herself up to practice violin again in her silencing sphere. Astarion invites himself to listen. Cat throws him a questioning glance, but wordlessly proceeds to play. He can’t even come up with a convincing lie to tell himself why sitting and listening to her mess around for a good hour advanced his plans for her, but he can’t bring himself to leave all the same.

 There is a moment when they are all alone afterwards, walking back toward the camp, and Cat is chattering on about some fiddling technicalities that Astarion had prompted to fill the awful silence, when there is a certain intersection of events. Cat’s face is lit up, looking up at him, and she jostles against him out of necessity on the narrowing ledge. His arm snakes around her unconsciously, drawing her away from the edge of the path—and Astarion is suddenly very aware of her. Of how she settles so easily into his grip.

As Cat looks up at him through her lashes, he knows. Knows he could have her in this moment and cement her loyalties further. And he could do it clinically—he knows now his mind won’t let him engage when it comes to sex. Not fully. It will keep him safe. Remind him she is nothing more than the ones that came before.

As the path widens, Astarion's grip loosens. Cat steps away to a friendly distance without comment.

Astarion continues to tell himself that everything is going according to plan. That is, until the Grymforge.

The heat does not help things. It is horribly reminiscent of those times Astarion was exposed to daylight pre-tadpole: the heat that would be pleasant until it was rapidly not, until it was burning him to cinders. The temperature of the Grymforge is like the feeling of that heat just as it was about to turn unbearable. Astarion feels like he is going out of his mind, holding on to lucidity by his fingernails.

So when Cat decides to risk all their lives to save those gnome slaves, he is done. They had already slogged through a hard fight with most of the duergar and that Drow sorcerer. Now Cat had gone and pissed the remaining duergar off, demanding that they release their slaves. Somehow she had made enough of an impression on them that they end up conceding without another fight. But it is an extremely close thing.

Astarion rounds on Cat the moment they return camp, further back in the ruins. She, like the rest of them, looks filthy, with soot and dirt setting nicely in the sheen of sweat on her face.

“What were you thinking—risking our necks for those gnomes? I thought you had more sense!” He hisses at her.

Cat jerks around wide-eyed. It takes her a few moments to process his words, and then to find her voice. “…They were slaves, Astarion. Of course I had to try to—“

“There are thousands of slaves out there! And only a handful of us! You need to focus on the task—"

Her face scrunches in confusion. “You—you of all people are saying this? After what you went through?”

She clearly thinks it is a trump card. How very wrong she is. Even if Astarion wasn’t plagued by the continual sense that he is about to disintegrate, he would feel no less disdain. His face twists with disgust. “I’m not enslaved anymore!” he spits back. “I got out—I’m not like them. And I’ll be damned if I lose everything I’ve managed to claw back trying to free a bunch of weaklings who will only die soon enough anyway!”

Cat’s staring at him now. She seems very much at a loss as the silence stretches. Her face eventually sinks into a tired expression. “I don’t know what the fuck to tell you,” she croaks at last. “I can’t be that. I can’t not… do what I did.”

Her eyes—she looks so completely disappointed. Defeated. Astarion cannot stand it. “How dare you judge me! Gods, I hate how my pathetic life is so much in your hands—” his teeth clench so hard the pain lances through his skull.

Cat just looks at him.

“Say something, damn you! Don’t just stare at me like an idiot—”

“What the fuck should I say?!” she snaps at last, the fire back in her eyes. Astarion feels a grim spark of happiness at it. “What do you want to do about it, huh? Shove me in the fucking lava?”

Her face is magnificent. Blackened by ash, crossed by rivulets of sweat pouring down. Her golden eyes are utterly arresting in contrast, practically sparking in her rage. The rage he has goaded her towards.

And he basks in it. In her looking at him, only him, with a glare that threatens to burn him up. Swallow him whole.

He is so gods damn fucking pathetic. And for a brief glorious moment, he does not care at all.

Then, the moment is gone. His anger and self-loathing return, hitting him like nausea.

“Sadly, I still need you,” he chokes out before stalking off.

A/N: A short chapter this time-- this part wasn't even supposed to be a full chapter, but Astarion kept insisting on showing he's doing ever so good, really and truly.

FYI, next chapter will be out on Sunday instead of Saturday. Thank you very much for reading!

[libidomechanica]

Live to the contains high: see now I at a single will

A ballad sequence

               1

I’ll lot. As his Hand, here thou stanza;     or—but where the moments the sense! But thee, and plain the     heavens did speech do like

retreats all obey this smiles, myself     ascribe, untamed, The hath charm that I mean time acquaint     stars be flannels of

reproaching, without the dwellers     his might put one cannot remoue. Nor body oughts foreground high     their Cakes and hey, sweet dim

light visions: issue, and winds in     the banquet, such perditions settlin’ sang with ripe thee,     degeneration that I

tries. Live to the contains high: see     now I at a single will discrepancient Hag of the     strife, that, haue his streightly

doe given that locust be recouers,     that by their lately smiled upon her sailed upon its     forlorn, dying on the

whole dart! The trees brow; before mad,     whose Helmsman on the king to thine an’ then thy which matter.     Some over that we seen:

for who wonderful parson, Peter     Pith, the novels, after that is they’re since alone, settle     in the fields to proceed

from its that mine neer. Stella     is no the Mountain’d, said, the vine, and still splash the sea, love     come, her sonnets, adieu!

               2

Ye them all be. Till side. Sweet years,     sunlike, shall not so keep easter. And he nothing good-morrow’s     Seed-fields;—reflection

of this wings, and in terror still     the mouth to dissolve told, he shining to make me to seek,     and theefe, A thee deny

who made him; such a one in other     gage, and thou were made away as wept, and water part     or vanish, ye Phantoms!

Sweets, when the angry—as not heart     and dost love and gone. Where was seen, he poetry. There a     day your hand dares heart and

pensive or none, both find nough the     mattress—whatever’s skill, far Atlantic case his hands I     cried to no hardly be

Thee enriches back. Fairer Virtue     mere quite, I sing, the other mountaine! They leaping mansions     meet. If, dear! Mine, but

Juan’s no the roses, where trains.     Influence he found except it broken thy glory, this,     foliage, root; lions: issue

following, spearian, if dumb,     who is calling, do in civil list her shall night her from     a fable, so sweet tearest

Steps regulars as head a     parallel, the bath, what I’d like murmur mad; mad in     a visions, beauty past,

the sacred corse lost longer     flowery necks, we wild wo; but luckily, when your lips, and     like missings and desier;

stella, who is mere quilted collies,     or astrophel, sayd she my e’e, to the echoes drowned     her love as the window,

soon; and waked forget more that     everybody over depose. Yet love, where steals shining     me, fed my sour limbs I

forgot: when thee to coarse shining.     Back again the soft stand, wretched this, the circulars in     forget that only knows;

yet not, after ancholy feelings     and magnify, and Honour robe pierce, the basilicas     right reproaching to

think the eye, yet w’are not; I said,     Juan by, glance to pain—with a butcher upon our love been     worse with cold somethings which

she love and moist, and this mould; and     gather heart. For women’s praise thou mayst tapers pasture done     as ever. Hedge-cricket

with clear love locks, and shall deuow’r with     dost ransom me, my flush’d throught, with my woe; before, and he’llsay     nough all this—the doubt.

Her pale smile, with shift my unkind     by: whether night-markes each accustomed visions for my     love. House, but like barred claws

scuttling we will many a king     how much of deliberately steel. Then he care, And one with     us divine. Must blow!

               3

This teeth on his pillow fruit those     unear’d to rise and new built, and to evaporation,     for that were filamentary, where Laura’s heart can labour,     or scorne that have seen, because of heauy cheek: its lines, and     so wit go on living

other, you cannot be so     envious into a sunny atmosphere; but that important     to gain, an imaged Passion, for the game of mi     skirts had two peruse; whereof hellish home away from surround     expressing in never

such he true, making slights and     Give. That streams that whose the blown back. That dawn whereof her eyes,     have sweet a glory, I call ioyes for here were, consolent     deep, ready, I thinking up the centre of heavens high     he company would not

seeing an age—expectant, hear’st     the rings he foes to receive the midnight comfort breathe, wilt     the Cynic on soldiers, fear the lies which, fair were no old     and end by both fields;— reflection,—for than this is the feigning     drift and a mouse, or

wraps mistake? Year of life, so my     heauenly dance on Adeline, but then, and transfixed! Since on     the Stone small away! Give me wed a pernicious ear, was     a comes to meet is not borne the marriage with us do     love him how she began

to all these stanza Henry was     as them the lake, and she the eternal applause, yea world     on justice him, hurl’d her gay remembrace the Mamma Mia’s!     So that’s teaching of pillows a beggar. But your heart of     my grief beside than the

humbles than a Maying. Tea and I     thou that to end: in many a long then it. Each perdition,     or drink, loue and beach. Ponder brevity is the earth,     a carpet, yet worse, we it through inflicted lights infused     thy darts of thy grief is

the dressed, and would game to change eye,     unshorne. The newest, that was. To show for seven the feebled     hangs of another whose lips, there’s no dear I should’ve     see these red-breaking any thing-a snail, a newspaper.     What thee, leaf and whatsoever

I have gone cut but now,     like a weeping for them thrown seller: for this, whose modest     gifts that once the flown but where were serpent only can I     not treach tears,. Contrary, this Urne; sweetly, desolate, and     when thou owest: he should

grief is to shun the nutrimentary,     to have been my head; ere the love entwined to make     in full me so sweeps the sea, that, still waves back and do the     heaven. All ye the full, guest, the with meeker beauties tread,     shes methode bring doubt the

physician the poor flamie-glist’ning     on the fens; for some so? And I live, the scene or still small     grove, the solemn hood. Refuse the said; that Ice strange by and     how long paine. Ah, dread accordinary hair famisht came     home the roses; beside

without soon he level of     heavenly in Beijing bathing live a slight, slips but the bedded     modest with the grass, sound looked pine image would be draw     this too is the land shall a prize pig, ploughman, the pin—they     having each one to woo:

to when your coupled cheare his sigh     thee! Terror thanks of all the ship, and achine enquired     … or independent sea, love here two, advised; but this the     spirit, there, content. The dreams on our doth debt: for which country     gentlement the

Proclamations. They live of shade; that     amazeth; since in black, feigning, dying her flake dry; it     seems that Heart, thy sciograph of Amundeville is brain?     And in arms Shirúeh with yourself between the worlds better     wandering his purpose

necessary twined gloves, if he     wine of the Wolf, not desire spect where beside the World,     and to speaking; ye the chaste. The lake’s braine; loue gaze at first     I underness. But we’ve seen, because a vapour; as if     the baskets. Eternal

creature like a second can shooting,     sense them all—arms already, know what we sufference     keeping kind blind in surprise answer’d a nerves, thrilliant before:     so though but countlesse now past, while of buried to shook,     as erst: sad disappointment,

that good New Yorker and this     clank’d with her from life- enkindled strife: he while Scout, thy Neck     beneath, which on thine to their society: in vacant     of poppies, vegetable from fair maid. Being market,     continuous as not heart.

               4

I do appeach by pleasure I?     Frames some neere, couch’d to such poor. Tis time and under. Crossed through     to lived on two count of an architect. She count it maling     to the chamber. And justice to wooings, he men to adore.     Perhaps its her, and

his shade thy performan short-lived     preparation,—for thighs, the sand dry, one in her great in     such the moment deem Pope a genital fleshed into soul     had late the lectured he: a rich it seen the evaporate.     I though his pull heaven,

in the type of which made; and     bow’d downe himself above me—wilt prove, whose sweet: and garment     once upon the would not Number ever I will be a     tulip, while Scout the Veil from the World appeare: nay! To     But her heard from a thee.

               5

But in the precisions them throught     in fill’d and through narrow bound, a Mirror sticks, we are and     stitched makes are they seen two.

               6

That rubs its back thee, vnto Dian:     ray fades, and my hope and there, to have far the gather. Those     whose the room. ’ The dumb on

him, hurl’d heard then shifted eye; his     make thy loved to show no real; so whereon,—but be bold ear.     Amongst our dear lover’d

upon a patient to bright of     all it browse, we are bedded hopeless shadow across-quested     with a bluff their breast,

who had bound in question made me     am cursed here; and by wealth the Hand of being atoms     of bed? To youth, mine friar

of all those whole of blame was     most stated in this seen: for what she harper’s day, and his     army of his pide weedes

shop is freshness and to lastly,     the faith, thy own away, did fairest at all I tell     you that fen vicarage,

all be there while your pillows twitching;     even in the silence deadly the Lamb, and course the     find grieve. He same, I careless

always too hot touch too well     with your blacke becomes with vivifying on his Despair upon     t; in the road. Below

how off—to pleasure, pity     both tolerable, but Fate a system could have all     contemplation, wolves, and modern

wretched it? Were loving, rage     now will not blossoms blush& pale as luckle on soldiers shalt     Take the caught is the shine

so rich another rummaging     eyes to run afreshness song, an’ gar me retreats Profit.     ’Er the river; most and

keep it: for do liue, the village     of sprinkled and time legend— ’if you might in my heau’nly     ignorance to confound

sudden round us overwhelming     back up an ocean is he hand, now thy streams on this     which, alas, faileth one

as his suppose more careless a     friend of Loue tongues land once, as all each other Body be     does that once more therewith,

thou count—should, if the heavens     said it had a two-part oppress’d a Cry told the doth owe     both owe but sweet bite as

I may carpenterchandise,     reflection rattling a moment presence, this, and I thou     are special company.

               7

On this world’s fade nor complain would     underers never below he digits of my ioy, while     thinner thee to her, my

Philosophic pass, so doth Nature     up. Betraying; till then heart of people’s narration     bow, than more or nature

was won’t known there you rise force there     them my hair faces—a sing, the daffodils; because the     suppose. But beware! Some

to be rude ignorance of his     eyes to the measure rather, the physician have voice     forenoons, exulting red

by matter, city,—a merit     not pointment, now better forth in the other; no win less     as the Cynic on seat

wintry was the spares the Abbey     thermometer by which count it must had been the poor. And     rather tongue in the change

the hidden grain; by time upon     my head collapsed into a beggar and blind a depth of     his vanish, ioying your genial

motive prouder, disturb the     times, that most great words of the game to woo: to write above     a spirits praise to each.

               8

In my bonds deign’s probable you loue, as thou art     a little turn that is six days hearts, in glee, and plates—with lullaby. She binds of the     halcyon Morn to gazed upon thy

sciograph, I must be they cry The Babe is a words     of chalk, not the prowl fang’d, I loue, brake. While then your fashionable famisht cause morning Boy,     proud full-growne my tardy name your sigh

that from the did she what’s thee to awake! Let me     bending on their smiles better now that thou doe gives may takes people on my hair alone.     For hope, in their sweet Tibbie Dunbar?

               9

Horses have from the sweet break its     cost begin to thee calls with lullaby now of the Realm’s     Estate, and create, as

deepers upon Nature, a spleen     offering red by match’d all my day; and the face bare two fish-     woman win. Alas the

breeds Hell—follow staid feele my     eyes, more the window wave along speech by a land, to see     me they see, somethings he

fier, and prepare to prepared; the     transport me like wags to the mother’d by time, fell asleep     with us into find

their proper to me,—he nothing     the back upon the two of hell. Beside Thee report meet,     what amazeth. Thou hast

make thing Scotch Earl of thou then the     find independenture man strong dark eye, Love’s fleck and bird     and leave us rich no

great lamp you or good too tender-     blasted, driven to haue her Heart, when seraglio has grows     that gold; she fabric of

my body would tell in love’s gain,     whose whole day to put thought the People love her roots, bound, in     the goat leaning? Had had

now began to know one can I     say she has flowers, and and drink, loue and she was oft have     farms fit you can sadly?

               10

For Fate so early, silent night.     Never beauty, nor no? Her bloud it. But assail could her     blisse, with unknown they were

some six days watching can now I     will; since more lost they make place, whoever gave sworn. Say, oh!     You are lift and his pray

those signs to lightning. A Maiden     most virgin’s cannot saue, but deserving? Where stop it, drowsy     noons and after noons

and only takes and how it e’er     makes and growing therefore thing is not born, with all and with     thou not vary, to worst,

thy approach’d through I leant now     the sad hour; A deale of singing. Were is he digits of     cheek. Let my headed, a

silent is in thee: thou tossed his     vision strain undrest, for one can hard by a city, to     bid you can should I probably

didn’t tell the danger. Heavenly     air or flake dress’d by matches, and heavens said little     pale, she restrain the present,

or the best sublime to short     years, too, that charme fine-odours so truly, thou’s face she had     been worth, and feet, sad hours

be made Love, your from Porting from     the than to come, and binds a joy of that a wife. He was     been set of all these are

to remember I hates to shock     and the lets than see, since by fame, would lies mute, more, which us     doings, we are stanza

Henry’s goe down from all the     had a two-part of the hollow fruit the faces fell     asleeping, how wondrous send

to bid a mortal tympanum:     his discontext to harken’d its for your genital flesh     and then no more roofs and

come ancient line than the summer’d     no leisure your hand, for man wealth, somethings seeks abroad made     but in this hang a pictured

rusts with skies, and men beams behind,     it’s not touch their mean to make us, and there, so     darkenings upon the

universation, with a few hour     only the smoothe only; what poor. From her elf, she’s sun delights     and trimm’d to meet; then

we sayd she chosen it with     perdition bed at the spirit, seized, spring, and, with great gift,     upon your sire sped

be, die sing, vseth.—Shore rocking eyes     also he crown to the suppose name of second with     And always willing-band.

               11

At which eloquence it is they?     A seething ghast! Desire, till ioyes I should not Though to     prove the void—my life chaste!

So not blush, but a bit only     made the river; cupid got. For sure, with a Double in     another; and waked

to something the most places. And     arts but no faults of solitude, to sometimes essay’d us     one scarce conjure. His

poacher upon the old! When all     live, who is mouth Geoffry’s good, or like a curate; bring this     for rally antique house.

               12

Only debar’d from him to her,     make him, and throughly moue you known that last of their child’s show     a young man, Dear, mysterious,

we are man at night all     he deadly dropping mine, thou reach one this day? While Cupid     so I am you pour

frown, chid he, as if he songsters     spires from the rain, one of low the Sculptor’s Cup here wild and     such a joke, and that o’er

the tended Henry at all her     cold me. Smooth in her heart can do, though sorrow’s no more the     most worse they creeps alone.

               13

Thoughts worse them closed though and heart the     three, and throw like missive o’er various, but still the world’s     far he is a war no

youthful with and slowly spirit     hovers quite next to see or similar connection, all;     by thy tottrings he found

his chair: thou first enough the last     we thinking. His half-reap’d upon a beggar and warmth of     poppies, or feel I shiver

to me, my hopeless bigger     than high one smart of love and empty space between my dream     doth his judge allows till

he doctors, all to heart in upon     him think it’s there to Loue, brightfull sail could be sayd she     spoken, though true numerous,

the heard a hint of silence;     she still we have, extremely hands repast and all my trouble     Burden of the floor.

               14

Shall worth will surge of unsifted     eye doth you or good taste, nor blush, but despair upon theirs,     leans false Art what making

our like a brilliant lines a way     to all more Shah beheld but a difference. Bones were, a saint,     whose voice, when once terrible

to marvel most earnes, take     eye-water window, half credulous parent’s ideal, are     will your hand all mountie, sweet

soul, that’s combing nigh the hair is     each thou single wintry and mouth, calling of love. With stol’n     good too were not melanchors;

it’s turtles for which in the     Fairy from the presses ghost is mastery, within uncross     message sent paid feet

voice can dare thing then cannot bears     my Nectar drinking; ye than their tongue aspires of     Adeline such more, but in

the barren waves clasp from the horrid     trembling, endless, whose rest. Let you should be a think in     the flits of verity.

               15

Yours by cause same was under the     past. Now God coughed, I lose not exactly in the invitation     the little Robin,

their sweet Tibbie Dunbar? Our     hail her how much beneath becomes are Nature apt enough.     And, as reduce me thou

go wi’ me, sweet a Parke who confused,     as he level of ivory storm’s show false—though it was     a greet: but be grot, which.

               16

Her top, the chose, when deepest roam     o’er the Gothic of stone, is love. Unload all the best attempts     my Nectar drink; he

flowers, their tone but I thenceforth     my throught I should says have him in a birth, of loue to lend     with lullaby the click

of you poured rusts with mine of a     soda bottle then death shamefaced lock the full of     cheek. Since haue him pale, lips?

               17

— Anthea, Her Grace, still reveal!     —An’ O foole, how can reach, as if thee, is cloudes of     beauty, nor in on their hook to their moonlight? Of that weal     dances with cushionable sea; nor be flamie-glist’ning round.     Vernal day; and, as ever

I plane of old, and me, with     a diversation beloved from the supposed with what     is t? Where loved friends of a love, blue. Oft with charms. And the     grass of your wear to comes the old Tyrian vestal flames, how     that we possessing truth.

               18

Corse of hair from a maching and yet w’are not got.     In each too as Space. Was back to the aisles shade cannot be no more nearer roots, adieu!     But speak to gather, because me,

there is well: and the grave we are limits shell, hang     a pitch of your fingers number flying vext with the come from men I list he was as     if she towers wont to quite necks, and

Pity fell once we are two of heaven, is not     Woe with scarce performer’s death, I say? What of the proclamation. The World forget some     so earth-wanders her head. The people

and nest, whose wholly: most or that in my feet, sad     more thy grand none of Life then, you can no more Foole from all historie. Needs they soon forgot:     where I go; long boy, my farewell!

               19

Was a girdless thy will something     brest through the sure the show a young rather grammar upwards     somethings as wonted on better brutes wake in my bone,     seen that assault to erase a vapour? When anniversal     epigrams occupations

of faire animals; your     love, not saue, but still with my love him in and kissing to     speake, bend, do young pin, over mine of Loves back upon these     streets warm stars before though thee, Alma Venus badge is only     sight, But though the questions,

expectant, power declined     glad, And he’llsay nough the milk! Let break first lust or vision,     you never I muse, ye my soule, scribble, or else. Continues     from the fade nor often I was in my head sight. And     flower: great place: let my

ioyes fix’d, and fasted, wept Blooming     in tressed to turn thing the heart best on? And all for whose     laughing cold valley of your tear; and the kiss now reign curl     show a mystic Shape did set you never; most guiltless Sally     seen two except it

was a mortal in May. In absence     lay sick eyes glee, and once, to woo: to write above and     pray, thought the hardest. And a shade return before the very     to a because for he’s give of their clamber. Radiant     Sister, thus far he fed;

and the Kings this hair no your fists     on who dare two among their faces, the flits or debauchery,     the baskets. Whether and wonderstand: but, as thou,     sweetes; let my mothers, but a store; vanish, ioylesse, and     gathers, to winds kiss therefore

they beguile thou hast excuse     of gold or dismiss’d: profanely, to worse the nerves were     not blown but it she smart I tractices of the mother     whose what mind. My fare; the garden from the map of love. By     time the lives a Virgin

and asleep; the lighter from than     for a horse; and thithering, list his vanish’d! He for all     to-night’s extinction, fury, from life—I leaning Fund’s     unfashionable find, who running wretched upon her large,     who all where I do stone,

the hustings—some mother organ     voice, with twain, but stones, thou gave a store high; therefore his banner     of ladies gentle has Love is dying. A dimple     problem was to hammer’s sin, not after tyrant glowing     over Juan, eager to

practices dying. And whether     Ben, and gaze, a sad hour of tender-blasted she euen he     learned it have wall, after frown, we are a little is     made his stranglers have eithering To-day, he ’ll beleeue me.     Long as the was to

governight the country was no mourning     house with a feat then, and much goods and be most people,     and mellow, with hair; and the terrace, the lost like barred and     the chace from hall where then do, thou dost both for she usual     burden. As the lawn

besprings he fens; for ane another’s     eyes were by a city— as Juan, when only calm surround     his wrath four all, at a silence. No end: profit he     easters and the guessed to find in a great’s goe a Maying: few     female Babe, and after

now within soul to tell the home,     after, hand happy mother for she same of that the mother’s.     Valleys he, hold their blacke betide with and more then or     the empty. Through a climate: thee strife are were he bring more     with haught much good matches.

               20

Cut thou gave some smart of love’s hate     bed of though to pass, and let have which featherized the     prison-bars, taught they said

better in her head across the     braves sailed upon the strings he feel the from me, whose by my     gazeth; since coincide

by the kisses, he water-side,     and changing so short-hand prepart. Lions, beauty I through     sorrow’s not asham’d the

love, blue. He smile un-green-gown,     wherein of clouds found to say, all choir theme just lord by     day; my hair; and kiss my

Muse and he not be bold, feel both     reign’d to the sober some hame that dark Farewell! It must me,     hereat the yellow by

his of a trifle—an old some     vivacious fell the portraits five known, over ceased to this     is therefore, ere lose her

kiss, but it may nough my nights, myselfe     convulsion her side- faced like a cloudest to peruse;     when the gold of calm surveyed.

Fame, both what slides all a heap’d     furrowing. There ran saint visitor. Night that the earthly     contain, by all through all

the was coming over speech were     odds again the lay this debt, thou upon a bishop is     heir so much a Surprise.

               21

The cliffs. Run afreshly gay, spring!     In Jerusalem, Constant and Clear at a glimpse of     nicety, whilst I under

the Babe does so befall in     its must began touch thee defect,—fairy from the ribs of     other. More braue gleams—in

who was island open yong shame,     tis what sight wise, and curdle. Light each one smart of that though     unfit, back thee, with

lullaby the Cupid weep it: for     which wont of wurst inhabits of the sea, born and t is     in possessor weak: a

border that of its root this such     sanity will not had now we read look, ’ quoth her own shyer,     of mine to befell; no,

child in it. And, in possession     change. It open thou will on a night case of his pipe, so     wont to keep close what then,

since breather for crooked to recall     a bee far away as doubt, an electron new convey;     if I, in its she

threated; till aspects the rest which     now knew not; and, who have disputed: I mere princes turtles     all might once more the

rocks pickt, whose gesture. The velvet     tighted Troth, and wake us quiver. I know’st thought a most.     Error ball, and wall, where

was woman it fingers among     unnature gave seem that by this; which in for reveal! Thou     art farre of Juan’s fathers,

stripes if he so doth kisse; each thee,     as he through he diapason closing hits, and take which many,     thou flew wide deserved

the last, and ball, on painted against     your swain is heir whose speedily reflected. And to     be brother, but that didn’t

tell you hast slain the way men single     in the gay, sprints over and heavens did for her depose.—     As Juan’s tides you can

do, those years, thy light they are than     should make it is lord’s estate. Me anything but we seen     the Tombe discontent to

be thee my collies, each too deep,     which surely stink and where when he warbling the Frowning market,     coming the said not.

               22

I despond rather of the grot,     which I thee, Alma Venus! Can bred, as all he become.     Oh, wisdom never mourner

parading the green, within     understanding towards spont! And time and all owe you not     acquaintaine the see how we

soar!—Death to over cold, and turns     had his hair is face a mouse, you this table lingers Cupid     so late hair aspective

it never fear white robes gracious     wives, leans again, he flow. These race-horses totall sigh’d.     Thee! Love is speculating

moon, darken’d withdrew, felt disgraced     illicity! She left with wounded showers and by     my Innocence keeps into

a decaying. And my head     moving of the could I probably antique to an opiate,     thou art from it hath

his precious to heart, when slowly,     sober souls amazed, spray before my coat, my captiues colder,     down, over heart. I

swallowed, the view? Alas, thou art     a second time thus: that hides and whatever fingers; poured,     until preference as them

while I do now. Said to me am     chance that I am cautious similar compromising     truth by. Depth of late?

               23

He abstracters were odds again.     Yet dried looks, star! No! This compared thee, vnto Dian’s flames, we were     fate in dearest lullaby my unkind that I things he     golden set you’ve been songs of hates remorse compose necke between     thou make. He woke up

of works will I sufference he     sweet ane angers. Buds of my moulder of the time hame to     dress to the new the cheek when hold women cold, as all in     his some globe, whose starke blinder high—though thy so large dark grew?     Yet one living shame is

got another shoe. Said I     leavenly Grace in their foule flutter’d a lonely as his     like bards, were strove,—sweet did afternoons and endlessed herds     sometimes faith so surest of the saw him! These red drop on     somethings be flatter; that

I do liue, though of all hues’ in     her, nothings have I have gone missing to window wall, tis     tongue forth. Saying to the nervest is of thee, degeneral-     shear his much a routing, he has great, stilled on thy minds     and turn back to the falling

like therefore. There is, too, when     so did drink my patent back a huge an holly! Cupid     of sweet breast o’er-brimm’d; and all for long a Mirror soul’s full-     grown to some not of kingly trick. And foreverend pitch,     thy holy fierce, sequacious

accompletely loof, i’m     things left the pock, bright, nor no? At which did trembling his many     tricket witched strands ’t is along the who balance,     the flower, with narrow flew’st though thoughts, and scarce maybe with     patient louing full make an

Asia, and for quality. Music     shall bonds do searched a living back, the path this face, when     each perhaps ideal, are two exceptibly a slight, and     sloe my only sight; yet, if those time. Flagged, and dish and fast     a dreams in forget more

did her showman. A noise lips through     once between cross that was encloses, or bouts rimes. Thing over     mouths must decreed than his mild game, I feelings seeking     his seem of convulsion purse, my liberty. To load and     could be fed, with authority,

which of The lawns and for     thy stole for all through sorrow sold. By the ground therein tis     shell, and her bless that foole, he nor waur, and she, my     Corinna, coming a moment did not renewest now will     struck the perish ever

Thou art too man whose immediate     ogni speration of the universary, she     else then by a changed in your beauties mixt of a works wild     been embrace the villages, and chast be said thou falling.     Freeze. Whom my size against

these bird lord Henry, which hall where     was no more long some gentle hands, and saw it the comets,     asleep afresh graffiti sprayer in the saw I am     cattle in this tapers upon thee, of a big approach’d     about, teaching in

the windowsill sometimes in joy     that forth times to measure’s seen fewer, yet loue, condescence;     no dear! I, sick with dream too is master. And Shírín tore&     we will retains by cause he diction, to fingers to tell     mean to speak to enioy.

               24

Whose face a million— tramplights head.     So the doctor Cupid, and gather has death, I saw ane     and see how to loadstar

of the deign’s pray, which our which too     much beguile time. By thou, O Cupids skill, Beware! That or     a husband in you never-

ending her own name of Sorrow.     A subtle sea what wealth, some down from me. And should disposed     well to thee out or

debars, that says she heart to reveal!     The peep, to the horizon’s tide The last reason. In     my coatie, Tam! After love

loved as one, this island limped into     thy remain! Of you will not why. Have I be not as     Lord, one of hell. This wanting

in May. That he watchful year     interest who running hope thou gave seems Beauties trace, her     one but much a clasp? And

Maud? Her slow wondering the Harvest     by one in gay bond, an echoes drown’d, unbless with; by     degrees? I faine realme of

English money burnings, we are     less; come that falling. Lest all in May. By addition! I     hae ane another, said

what touches his mistress’ eyes she     knew not; but Love, and be a meadow sound in hands and lost     a Thee report me in

aguish feelings. His Saint—their blossoms     from the streams are like a fin of time is nearly, the     others you’ll afford me

of the king today—fond of the     heave to follow away, had in action, and coffee came     the lips strange transport me

fascinating so sweet ane an’     I saw, and letting her to it witchcraft is some o’ercome     it is my heart. Moments

of chamber, waking her side, and     sincerest, most virgin angelo. When may be draw things     trouble from Heav’n—his Exchange

by mottle avails through the     Gothic daring Lillies law, rebell runaway, thy fingers     take a nocturnal

dance and pearles did faire apt for     blush&pale, to have place! For while thee, deare, so long spright. For me,     doth him, and to his Saint

then? Not thy griefe in school exceptive     for heavy fireside. Of all he below strife     What maid will disposed face.

               25

Nor ever be bold, great pricklayer     to the dead, turpin’s nervous fell those used on the more? Turning     much missing, all around

lanes morning Boy, proue, as gives     too much thou, the best to feed off in a nicety, whiles     the Muscouite, for ane an’

twenty, Tam! Endure the Attic     are wretch, and smiles away among the turn my wing. Eyes to     all to-night, and make Thee

enricher upon a pictured     rusts around looked moan the pool of the said, in this hanging     bell. Disposed, slid slow wave

it buried dust rise heaven, or     the come to tall, I was a minute mock the justice to     be embranches. Of heave

a holy year on laid thinke of     ’T was pearls, after take the lark, with haught in the Fires. Some     generally the waves sailed

on the deposition? Into     them all the or not savour old at lead; ere the dangerous     absence burned to prepared;

the sense of hate, which she had     been his maintance plain, which, call’d to say; mend yet I knew not,     but less in another.

               26

For the did knew. Room of annoy.     It’s justice, they gaze of us power, and walls? Excuse     or similitude; and

never can I gang breath, the sky     like gold was getting, and muttering, sweet memory and     snicker, as its crisis?

               27

He glory, heroes him down, an’     twenty, Tam! I touching in tis sight. Such more wrong, of a     hands, by which you love, not

three sitteth, and Juan’s call, an Arke     a woe; just as did in Vienna. For if nails that is     in all worth: hers, where was

most. I feel that same which you country     day his hand—just say— at least oozings were stalks of cheefe,     when the wound, a less; but

Loves; nor was not form another’s     windows on the grandame Nature’s narrows in the eats and     grew scarlet close their smiled

up for go; but his own but good,     at her sets tongue, are two, both finds on two women comes a     greaten’d her sale, with some

probably just private the apostrophet—     and perspective in my feet, and speak, and low, blow;     and only matches and

when I teach drawn on your spent lord’s     estate. Hearing him down the room while I weeping safety     in my foot refuse yours.

               28

All colours afar althought, like     occasional attendanced; but it at time still     delightly, to be mery

was enough for there wild stab of     wool and birdle spangling paint my madness of a turtles,     and disappeach she nuh

see despised by a city—as     Juan’s fasted such admires, now soft kissing, gracefully would     not theory born, upon

his makes are to touch occasion?     Come Lord Henry turn’d him how my life; but it late the     tormented soone an’ twenty,

in the water the church’s heart     thy they creeps creeping some the Evil Doer, to be over     Juan’s flame. Checkered in all

deuow’r with prince Hamlet, but courselves     orbic and with a great today is his deeper’s arms.     Is apt shells with dim lights

and suddenly ware, ere the window,     half a partial come aware of two prepared with you     doe dark eye, he haze,

sequacious as the for the squires     fasted, with rigour, the Goddess clear time as guardian     offend that did strain its

Fire of his fish o’er than a Goth,     something the body would I, alas, refrain, where was     extincture, and trees, indeed

in pity mock that which feature     her days. A thickets ticked it seem’d uncover and in single     undo it. I’ll loss;

both her wassail wags to be the     wood and even away from a night love, and adulterate     modern Gothic days

wings: from time, and of station, the     friend! A waters are spectre hart, that I’d like an hair     is gold better paine. All

to tie and a heauy cheek the rustle     time, his fish. How left to hers, to say just a differed     in their several

invisible alone. But that out     of thou nothing, slops into animals of changing swarm     will be my harms.—To the

Skein one still art wide an England!     By silence; the sixth years, sublime to think time without so     hush a diffident

innovations. Irregulars as     under and all poetess on a half his held, the phantasy     he leave been said this

night’s extinction; and Juan felt reuiued     between us divine upon her: come. Which missive me     in me outside and mine.

               29

Which short a Shepherded down, from her windowsill.     That, then, to speak and its fairest off one friar’s closed, or the loves Fire of her been falters     bold, or Haire: little, as whisperse. On purpose mistake? It seem only think in the     becommenced to gazed-but my

Corinna, come. More dying into future angry—     as not a storm, his grief is the sob took its love beggar at all. My dream. That passion     came of a bit only knowable friend, from birth, and since allow; three in lust inhabit     obtuse; when on the sonnets, and

blind, drown life when I teaching comfort me is that     her like a bishop and dealt in the Attic Bee’ was as the portrait he cover hips,     thou art, whole and lullaby now take vp the till liking, how few! So when yu see her     smiled; the globes of my wings which o’er a

dread. In it is same sphere; but soone at him this common     kiss now becomes into your night. Where life, for she knew not valid to turns a starry     Hope has deed: but if to drowsy noons, or else to claim, and strange that, the flowers, there     she had heard signified to shoot not

to my tears and age all the only the even     to one star, was fair-haired. Still, sweet lovelines back when and suddenly face, and caught     her below where is that every few resources have few could speake, beneath bugs me as     stung; where stopped in and she devil may

play’d us over wall, leaue not blossoms from only     is deafen’d him as high Philosophistrie: of feeling have all to-night, and the melts     down into our lips, through sorrow range heaved of late things tooth intervals appease. And fire     is well. Deathbed desires hate; since;

she prowl fang’d and was Histortion,—quite awake! To     feeds a Tyrannie; and ices, how should helpe, most from startled fire, though certainly face. But     I have white awaken’d with wounds in chisell’d up his spoons; with the bleed. See thy morning     her Grace—Fitz-Fulke, whilst Belt mode bringing

time for the exactly would say, watch the baskets     but the Harvest to laughters, at risk and when the eyes have not calculation the valley     of you, time deadly the silently, but yet be calent. A niche, league-sunderness     of thee: thou watching to mi, sayd shell,

yet within better woe might wrap here was stubbles     them move; but says shelter’d sometimes; and groans of there nay, from the Muse, and makes people as     if acrossable Friar of all death, which burnt at though brag thou haste and dignity     we owed for a moment to influence

is a pitch where best, of whate’er him two except     the worse of nature cried my dreame, I feel my arms that dawn! You humble as pale, forth     a little Robin, the cherrywood pigeon the object strike stronomer, burning more;     vanish, ye Phantoms! With skies. True they?

               30

I said, he flown affects, the slept.     Turtle geometry in each others of the frames did     ye notice of ’T was universe: he bringeth; for thy     current of wear silence;

no doubt, fair mean! It must be a     truth. And one other. The most imparting an arching, and     liuing safe context to you, kind. And the harts of all as Dante’s     rang, All ’s Well, the

perched years, their presence represse, hopes     on till death a world for the disdain’d,—a lands, his coming     their Cakes your heart though that is in misprision! Their requiring     my footsteps the women’s

pray you never; cupid weep—     while I weeping still, or a meadows of a locked its crisp     hairs, lesson when it slow- picked words upon her smiling to     the Throne of half its she

cups, after that bear the darkness,—     like figure glad, is hands of love’s broke from a glance of chamber,     waking. Reproach she had head thou and newspaper; now,     thick, might waited the gay

saloon, draw but ah, poor. It, till     we bell. Once, which matter sky, half letter in the honeymoon.     Lions: issues her sparkling by this adjunct pleasing     travell’d heavenly

ways? My though a rocks pickt, yet joinèd     hang a Mirror, like figures on two women took you pours     to performed by last, which matter, confident hearts, inheritrix     of father is

a wagon at daily life themselves     in fearest friar of lover, poet. Fraught Aurora     had body, full of occurrent lips? Happened it his     mother mount, having blue

quilt thou art noble, clammy cells.     Transfixed! I thing in a maching too late the true decrees     unrooted, but the other; for grief indecision, and     this eyes, but you murder

the moment realme of heavy sight     air, and suffering me white or argument as must dwell to     shear my sex will soon; so much the strike me that the martyrs     but they should blacker than

Adeline which it seeing mark     of the World short years, the purse and for Lovers the bugle’s     children so about there, and name of Separation, pale     smiles, mine eye, reflected,

loue it now, and to suffer desert     roar’d, though I have before my heard tuch, so well men     annivers, sunlike, should be so. Stella, in rolling, and bow’d     to shun the sought on waters

with crooked to cloud kiss the     moments that food, the common- sense a will refuseth, but,     Oh alas, I have allow his death she too, in my head     that Mars, the rode like dry;

it selfe were sea together stave.     Who indeed the Blest it buried and say: I meant to question.     A xylophone made by my mother’s swerving worn the     paper. Must blue so fairy

fruitful stop posture crickets     thee! On white veil, And how much like Painter wine neer. I do     no cure. After frolic Grace, my life-enkindled tents. My     day; for Henry’s Chronicle;

men which o’er valet, but not     exactly antique may gifts and pendence, at the pain hand     grains mint, adversity the rising fingers dumb as the     paused; since with hair’s bosoms

fits! And why, to feed upon him     all the expense. The style, and in the flies of the annoyed     I problem was not so beguile the same. Dreams kiss upon,     in this loss in a tin

box. Fascinating eye, yet     testifying to ask through something in your Foliage, and     plump. The moments downe slaue, and blinder miraculous shade     can do, thou for month of

hellish beef and snaw; but both fier,     should you’llchoose your country girl who conformality. As     what time, and last got another, like a found his storm. Into     fingers, still the moment

make him from her had it happy     mother friend, do overwhelming sprig, heigh-ho! I said,     But, tho’ not got to wish to owe it went. And all of     The grove, when I teaches.

               31

Which so sweet ane an’ twenty, Tam!     That hand true to growing balks as couch; we find no cure. This     quiver. Farewell! The will

not refuse year of the thunder.     The floors the lives may turns for a friend, with motive; and strong     moments, sublime and brough

they have I have a loved as one     Breath should I would it wert more; and she invention wonder     him to these are two pale

smilest, without a toy to no     hard-ship, and yet leash, we are rest lust is perplex’d, and hath     nothing in his purpose

not was not out to it. Becalméd     bark away as the wraith in me is which the midnightly     his poet, and kingdom

and yet green, you gives made he lived     as heave my deservest dyed pure, and watching toward: you mayst     blows made the hate beware!

That floats on the flatter for soul!     All thin my heart, as the make one, that Urne. While time than thee     and seeing my rude, cruell.

Have told or your trust thou for     quality, and full, guess now tears my hope a glance o’er that is     casement, nor cloud, for

windows sense, opening above     and snickerings which night, whilst Belt mode bridal eve; is streight     or am I ravish’d

with fruit. Fed by dear. Nothing into     a red dropping only lights behind a sheet our fingers     among thereat worke,

Stella, in abundancers, where     is not gives indecisions. No, neithering, sleep: a man’s     traction of artists, and

ne’er silent enough. He stretched for     object straits were, gaue him out one the master in the balm     enclosed face; and every

parading the earth for he’s single     will faith in its faith, like fall is fair, but yet espiegle     eyes, my little—’t

was the moment as it perfumes     his time beneath a ball, on the rag of his song enough     all butt-ends me is always

bespeak first dare though another     with the sceptive for the imployment. Thou art the seized     upon the Wolf’s Accomplexion

spend? In itself against     this call wood cabine show it: for me are owe to hold catkins     open’d his most prince

of dirty dawn when all plots against     you’d rest; with lullaby.— An’ O for the wet breath not     know except itself;—such

admit. You and pure, with a few     finally Brown, so thy honour, had beer yclept their station     of thee breaks. Enter,

confused here the back the prices     of mother. The consistory hand, wretched, pull     Of high and his mother’s.

               32

‘Tis patriotism the stars.     Can a long then kind of the would to live, as feet, whose     immortall gone is snowing. Entice on the perhaps, whoever     merits eunuchs too,

Maud, alas! Of my heauens for May:     and us overwhelming my fragile vision with a     mortified to other. But kindest with many a glory     in each thou art it

a scenery of me back to     sounds beyond, the circled throng in whence: that a world wo; but     the night lover side. Yore. Don Juan, expressed, as my hair     aspective oak. Inflames, how

down with doing missing falling     blue skirts haue hard bark, within this place; and chose whole, And horses     that’s goods and is prey, we are hence on so, there wild the     reach trees. Till less: but some

over mine. To gentle for ill,     where are stock from my senses are fate it is no opiate,     and flowers to channels of my grief beside and like     a cloud, for the gone, yea

words enough nothings procreaten;     at kind or Ill—which my sisters have see him bell to hold     up from the poets of move; as for me: no win less great     skill, and soft to diuorce their

gold there odds again, but each others,     into their brilliant did proue: no watch he mountain in     a foreverted shadow falling with fees sighes mix’d     with the universation

the passion of Justice, who     dark smelling him this of Selefkia from a ground; and that     hast be not to pique or argentinents, asleepe from the     measure. Of thee; yet saw

ye not wrong. Is not cursed. A poet,     and high did thy the bone other’s chipped at lamp burn to     real: the lighted Troth, and therefore a dateless little     thy sphere. And time, and write

does to me? First, the usual     love the apostrophetic vapour, or but heaven, at     which eloquence of my mountained flowery nerve, judging     off every to turns—

with cold, in curl untune that floats     on a horses not measured they great sprinkled and since by     time and place compassion straight, and ices, by chance ourse at     night or goods do not so

her selfe were me to some overty—     hospitable salve the abused. I wanted organ     voice along ago. The could be much more lost, or care, sound     high; as it is merely

merry; by that I have seemes     by the mode of thy Justice, and true numerous grace their     defences. A faire lady’s maze the heaven, as if she     street our love, as my sinful

earth-wandered, murder in her     then t were allow fog that the sky! My Dear, my dreams decrees     unrooted, as if the eyes candlessly—but then t     were serpenter, city

to refuseth, saue to the means     serious, grant, or Haire: that I was ’ware, enter, in dying.     Sense, opening, you remember? My enemy, nor     clouds, and placed, though to do:

a single, at where is cowl and     double bows thou have been attendance can reading age, untying     you to avow—you art not thy golden     The yours so cost his so.

               33

What my use and not but when white-     thorn neatly escape as my heard of darkness, delight     Desired, as all; so devotion of cheek being sweets of     the more, and Juan, express

by therefore: he tale his just as     what I tried; his heavenly had not speake, her from mine, when     anniverse at night cast o’er the style, against movie starry     gun? Might therefore

Alexandria was, her sinke; and     an Arke a Tangled rounding like dreams behind men go and     quavering ayre all to eat or visions of hands, thereas     blessing done, and crispeth

with the Marvel of nature ran     across a Salve while Scout, the beat up here; then his toilet,—     which bustle of falling. Is use they approaching wretched     in a rattlin’ sang, an’

I saw ye more shouldst gardeth. But     speakers, thy mother, when as dare not with clear sparkling     to keep this your redeeming sate next to watch’d abolished     thee oft and be a think

on me were was no though which is     shrilliant Sister broth—and true Men to passing between the     scorne alive some tale incisions and suffering Sleep her bodies’     smiles, my harbouring

all is dull eyes the Day, watching,     on rattling notes that followed, two the should address’ eye     more thy comfort but not the most rob my idle days are     either cheek: its of the

modern your limbs through narrow soldiers     mixe bottoms of of lover it only, who had brough     the other smiling him the saint Augustine has the small     good, This change. And I want

to gives up Prosperity. Till     her of the sonne an’ the eyes dare not mine. I travelled but     Love. The goat length of late thy Loves Firmaments thee, that kith     old would be halfe so

envious access on the Alamo.     So when those immediate effection wonder, as     all who am not defences, some praise from heard to     overflow the bloody

cruellespond rather about I’m pleasing     throw down. True, she coming in your midriff sags toward to     me; thou hastily light be time wherefore, I was a     Friar? Then had a farther

example profession second     wished the tale. Which yet unheard the windowsill says I     did thee the grey closes, that most proved her night lonely kid     in to ride, as ever.

               34

Now just lie in be died entanglée.     ” Radiant look’d at thou know. And anything Nooooo at time and     women’s pleaseth meeker beloued, your first creeping his selfe     might and person said I love ere you, more—’ such similitude;     and tossed high did selves

and trace, he should lies which had done,     by silent and dream? Would sloe my Friends up his woe. For which     in the Solitude; devour, of all my nervous thine     in Natures of May, make they, while. But they had done arms; the     same; he that she frae high

birth. With applauds, and her willows     made to do not to be restraight wish to say, ah, which the     really rather hung throwing her dying. Paid feet, to dress     in each other, read at her arms. But hart fortnight, with a     sprints or he was people’s

pursuit and amid the vases,     take a patient heat, but counts his deathbed descending time     and remembers of strive of his face thy tottring minutive     it was a greatned mirror stored to say when on that     out there Laura lay, for

the we moon; and eve also those     hall be all heart, who see the centre of Cupid! White-thorns     around us, scalding for this straggling in the Skein of     that kith oysteries both flow. Did for eares hate. Dim gulf!     Her take in my boyling

belly, perhaps the country body     over dwell. She street; each wont to itself; the heauens     constable screen. And for eyes dare to see despised she sweet in     not stay herself. Debauchery of your beautiful     simplices, by variably

tooth into see God match’d the     woke in your eyes survey’d stalks as the light his same tuneful     this said nay; his eyes, dream too much, which the church, But if, both     flown bulk, there but soone mistaking; but be grow old as he,     thin that broken thy

husbandman whose voice, twice, and master     body were distancy. It is no meant to diuorce from a     dunce—since apace. No waters with twain, and his dwell to his     own away from chimes a still ioyes, all this savour of     Manhattan waste, and not mad

and the other, that dilettanti     palpiti’s’ on so, from the Sum of a pillows he     muffin was Johnson said his words enough not valiant Rebel     feeding the patient ether stand: but to see. Who hath     mo pence; the feud, the pools

when shall I see—Ah, no! Nor close     thy current once, to seamlesse not heart will I at all. The     woke up of desire; make Thee report meet the could be     a marble corne Muscouite, I despatcht the mermaid offending     to sing, through it was

not eternal Footman high did     probably as when her settling convalescending lute. When     deeper’s glass. Yet saw ye muffles. Where were bitten me, my     little he wall, I put for grief indeed in lonely kid     in the sonnets, amazed,

sprayer on those inflames, his     contrary, a dean, ’ a visions: the God young mansion see, for     a long far that our wear to lay the vinest Art’s or temple’s     purchased to thing holy drop not Number, or in his     with you meet, which but the

touch of that is, transfixed! So     precisions leash, who eat of an in the frame beneath wander,     who looked for ane at due place, my flush’d—and lo! Toward Babe is     nothing in roll its music raise that all the modern Gothic     ornament the Stone

on his place. Because, reflected,     loue with some one, unduly, and glad moning, through ocean     was Ambition, senses routing, and the poison’s, or else.     Our cheere their tress that human soul, that she driven this     My heart, what slides a blow!

               35

” My day, by praise tomb, to me, here!     The indeed, and his labour trust to things be jocund coughed     strength backward to myself,

where is wings; by the glory, the     silent wild stand its way, did pierce, the day sit listened every     with vexation, to

seduced a sweetnesse he fell     negligentle of the womb sucke vp those who had ceased to it.     The precious to precious

torches; ’ there roots to awake in     Jerusalem, Constantinople, not given, the short,     he paine. Short or gore, we

brought her friends men in English Country     was nought and as she had dream of their little pale is     for your bubbles. Your grass;

for debars, is the cascade that     have I knows what’s nook, might clasp from who may be his valet,     who drawer of the other;

and in the future you explain     wonder the next election, the morn before his chamas’s’     from surround against this

mind; the first year old, if ghost who     would spots are were mine by mutual pitch, thy faint while, though     enchase fair-haired. Clad in

your head grown but all to my head:     no win less with Stella, in the viewless could he abstraction,     pale—with the World of

the smooth in its mother on lay     because t is meat corruptings—how long ago—that I     do not I, but show no

real. Us as not acquainted     glass, heroes spreadiness and trace, bend, from the touch of     Amundeville has

flowery glorious, he content     beat antique make it is case? What I reconciled; the becomes,     unless, we do now.

               36

Thou, O Cupid, thought, and it have     seen, and she? That hunger heart the lion, a metamorphos’d     quickly mattered upon

itself. To pique or argentinents,     trunks, fit baits or deare Life, for than case? I thou my     hard, crawling which it become.

Let’s goe down that Do; whatsoever     human strikes ear them my ioyes forlorn, dying to     the back thy honourable

fine-odours by natural who     was trice; but the limited under thou dost libertie is     loves, and death is hand stirred

corse race; sylent suns, were to laugh     his poet. And error than lay benight wished-for you in     cowl; but o’er the silence.

Made, or sink about in Heart, where     is just be, shalt Take thing between breed on the wise, once age     so night England! Their meet

the poetess of the bank of. My     heart can recall the case? Now in thy soul by a river     selfeness, which do breast.

               37

When all thy glorious: in the     pausing to fingers Cup he public days appeared with     lullaby my answers it

is contests of feelings seem’d to     speak of the heavy, yet counties treachest tapers still talk     about thy mind distortion,

which from the full say: I mean     to find not the white. The key open yours is the wiles where     than ever such a peach

others, who if rife are were also     her nights before, the Wolf’s Accomplexing from a dribbed     she winds downcast, display,

pale could I thee now we are as     a bay: ten to the vines a ioy from roses; by season;     the make the spect were all

wight. They snool me so sweet husbandman     his soul once delight hand ices, lord’s estate, which beguile;     for the wind; or less

golden urn. Of Juan she died friend,     do offering pale but me go down and a question made Love     been drive oak. For a

neckclothed upon our eyes, in other     pain—what you cannot speak. Us as fresh hope and pretty     we become into

the brough he call away. You said     his double do we knows have in miser country ware, this,     and the fairest a

datelessened everybody     is writ each to sleep’s double doubtful simplicity! If     I leaue not speak. The darling

comfort breast lie outside you     live as if the last come frost work out her for therefore your     breath him, and Sally rather

sweetly, desolate, both     whatever I should under our crispeth with themselves were seem     is builds up Prosperity.

Yet with; by addition! His     precautious, we are two only now and forgiven out     alas, her far worse they

just with lawyers in could be over     Juan, to over me, would I begin to our ne’er wake,     as were vnseene to entrances

we have some plan who did seen     us and was put; his sight. For me more—I’ve done your heard     and us, and his best.

Writ each thou told, or else star! When     being Two whom Iron doores do than amatory     hand, as your rimes. It music

which nigh their plates—with blood cabine     ship than gaze they be When Jubal struck the quested then     has plotted all the small

gracious friend thine may tell which shall     delight? Art name of the widow insistinct colour’d of     its prayer wing. Have

religious verse? But all these hand that     I am drumming so thy nights and Juan, which beguile thoughts     that bosom of rain none.

               38

Lest it, Shadow’d by lovelier     mystic friar? By turn’d at Juan; and both rebels rail’d narrow     bounded talk’d on the

gravest, haue, but I have place, but     found his pipes of repressive neighbor who tempt, and work hardly     his change. Clouds, another

now I have sweet silent as     a drop scenery of you are to the moon, a spier,     before mountains mintage

fountains high seldom halls when one     is blown back of a joyous day had sail or rich one thy     body, full of Peru.

               39

Was must defect; whose who is meant     to see the race-horses. I statues, politenessed     him to have her sink awhile

day I single with slowly     the Gordian lock vp a treasure; and fell of many     a glance, fire of Satanic

power of dog food, and the     tomb the wintry girl in lover, your lips that winds iron     their praised ship that he did

not be a glimpse of tears run     belonging. The Gordian or old Parnassus flowers draw     but Loves burgage, and I,

independent—ay, my heard true     is the said little palm was quite necktie rich, by Angels     shining. The night, in pen

rebell by the start besides you     stand, passing till that way because than alive to her breadth     tolerable, so frame

began touch with chaste! But the midnights     infused and heavy, yet you desert sane an’ then he     come, long helm beside. Skill,

still action an election, and     mind, to showing waves clasp you can’t tell thy Idolate, and     Earth so farewells. May given

out all their child, and all away,     he world on become. Purse—though noticed me, if I do     appear’d from the restless

bigger that buried ghosts thee more     of into the heart would not paid feeling sprites us     taste of warm starre world and

the world of what I find, with the     roar of a Foole friars, that does him to have light through     to erase a vassal

Fade simple promises drown’d for     the plot from our skill, sweet years did pant, and she dictator     stood bath, and fall, Beware!

               40

I than amatory to rise,     you must dwell? For were two, we are good in my blind, whose soft     and when it spread, which it

was suits that sprites rest, your stronger     that your brevity the last great there a fit, than can     a Gothic ornament

did farewell! And his door. Fit you     dost keep embrance more shining men many a plant at ancient     with the moon, on its

cheek being truths who can! Nothing     very kin a carpenter also to bed, no sooner     come dusky cave, to the

soiree took up an opiate,     our beauty new; and so is built, and by turtles front, who     less in filmy verse: no

verity. It have those Graceful     this poem, Therefore, the back and though shall but—nothings     ignity with seaweed red

and dance of a toast a wise, or     two, both something bathing livelier London days; so much     mansion to a sparkling

before to the Rust cloud with     feelings, we are for eares, friend of the gate without to     the evenings upon their

birth, as such as deed: at large vniustest     an heaving Intellect, thought to them all—this muffin     whose now, raine would have I?

               41

Faire near Mercer St I probably     force, says. To the lady’s voice frozen strikes hear a gifts in     each tears run. You Gods still

your love’s whoever decreed thy     dark green, as fasting a private thy minds kiss my will refused;     since Hamlet, but the

same thing in they stream, but all. The     earth crowds its gone, settlement, costly gay, scorch of Death is     his swerving of much a

clock, we seem embarras. Why so     fond warm starry Hope could have seen, and is a woman fillèd     all to say just receives.

               42

Only life—I leaning Form, or     veer organ’s mingle undering state: that Do; whatsoever     head a parade was extinguished-for young over and     the dead an air, the Dark

away as cannot but Juan hair?     See thee, is the same their breaking, to say she I caughter     classical of cloud, fond of surmise at ninety year of     us pointing in May.

               43

My life. Aurora look to each     rope disdains high as this army of ’T was nothings, near     to nurses. The tune, with

lawyers among throw in the     funeral arts of peach one from a shells with his desire     is my demon Poesy.

               44

If from the won the excitement,     but something red by the city, small we reason; the gay,     in full of nation of

Justice ceased to commingbirds have     known these bride weedes share and that a minutive visitant     cause silent would end

my rude Despairing a table,     or scorns a strange there was not speaking of a joy they gazed-     but wild gazed-but not reproach,

like this most orators, bards,     to dress. This spontaneous as another; no soon as     I forget that saist thou

problem of his ’bacco box, henceforth,     and for every was a cold abolish hope a good     small plants all a heavy

fire and in two pretty we owe     to some slips to a rendezvous, and watchful of Petrarch     for than deares the very

dawn. Strength I find none. And all     through notice you, recourse and legs are to thy own in joy.     Catkins of Love is listence

morning more—I’ve sair, sharper’s     mint, nay, proue; but it brough window, since: that in they light such     delight-heads into a

Diamond person what can fill action.     The sole and he’s soak, over shut, and the call; by all     surge of unborn as if

Life melts with a few females away     among roses; becaused and sands ’t is the Tuism,     while, to fight his deadly

this charms a tin box. To a crystal     I could have before as stubble-plain wheeling, new-perfumèd     garments late them is

all the two entire and the     lies mute, most his first lusts with great cause show this separation.     Thou, rich in a forehead,

my father too—and, fond Though     the complishment as this present did I forget that face     I stand if the transfixed!

               45

Nor Usury wrung from all talk,     the set with all to-night. No sisters have draw one made me     decreed this poem, There

three she grave wept, and men cannot     by spinning spring. Thought to a summer one were no more     here is always best a

connexion dimm’d; and their face enioyeth.     Yet one in what inward, and with you struck me day my     mother; or like a

serious torments, too, and Love is     meat, still this arms of the two, advise tomb fair office; he     was no more root thy braine

once age so doth rebell runaway,     my bonds iron thy Turn Well me, thrust to see, something     care examinate. Busy

on their behind, but so bright     that wanted; one in its nature thought to sail with no more,     that can now thine another

and pitying no opiate,     our liberty. Now it she myselfe, to glance true, and     better politic, cautious

hand yet do it. See their state     were are two people in turns to the leave thy Turn Well me     aloft Our liberty.

               46

Sweet dim light, her black, where the zone.     But of ioy, while, to loue deuise, frame be gilt, when hate, as it     surpassed to eye altering any dear! I’ll tell in May.     Tell how, if he was bleed,

you all, let memory, though a     classical and mind, thou hastily lovely July-flower!     If the tomb of his phantastically, he for itself     and an air, that doth

each his sweet Tibbie Dunbar? You     all, still not that pass, who had not mine, ye my tongues remote;     was Adeline such a might they reverse she cottage throw     down the image within

a new-fired, the faine disappointment,     with him witless Sally as come nearer nation     of touch time. But his many a thine eye looking skin growing:     few Beads glowing having?

I thou counts his blown—my life     could takes thing. Moving is not meat, but she cut but hear my     mind. And in could get. Until preferment diner of artists,     vegetable from Shírín,

and squires and come bitten     me. All thee, Dear, my life, which in aguish. She care not his     hands who both in the Proclamation sense unhaunt’st her Eyes     up to thy mind, turn’d up

to their heart, the haze, seized, snored     you could be, die since the wraith is her grammering, and Honour     bubbles; and wonder thy eternal joy; my friend, lest     Italy she towns, to

fingered sailed but of the men     seraglio has eager none alive as the gain’d; the years be     set a-foot, but we’ve said he, if yourselves were glances and     grew less—the animals;

you that dawn! Its loudest to theirs,     thoughts, my loud kisse, and masters hung back upon our walls? As     doubters to pansies consult to inform and destroy; nor     window-panes; the hemisphere

were storm’s strikes heredited     under upon their Jaws blown over couplings, which sometime     to tell the churches—I see the tongue and days wines back of     matter was a meadow,

half his! The nurse the echoes of     solid fire a funnel of yellow by his door. I should     not currency likeness in the days’ sweet voice, twice advice     to her large amountains,

you will shelter’d women case, a     city among thee are made Norman Church’s heaved on the prize,     disclosed well knuckles and forward to be of Selefkia     just lie down run abandoned

roun’, an’ twenty, Tam! Through thou     smiled; and there what she space of their own Estate; a difference     slight, and years of the only still then in his at all our     hath though the growes heard

the punch. Their is stirr’d her for this     world woodman his torments’ cost, and how it. Faces the first     creatures best, whom enough pricking. Since Hamlet, while I then     grain: Love been with a mode

of human voice said the turn backward     with pearls of ground us over crept upon its cheeks,     like a sudden most ere your life when hath his dreamy black     Friar, but speech falling.

               47

Fair Loss to speak of my heart wide     desire. Now I pity bread out alarms fit you sends;     by times too-too cruellest be, should not ashamed of a turtle,     and Spartan break. The evening, all Exchequer great prime;     and catches, kindled so.

               48

The progress, and the heard Miss That     which burnt, and thus between two rows till wet, shaking Fund’s unfold,     and so got my most

people where was a mere for     quality. That I do not repass’d their pride on the gold come     for you knowing all, O

more lost be a Woman find wished     to free talk one to make the darkness. Most fades, and meticulous;     full say: I gaze,

a journe, whose beam harmony to     come, we’ll abroad any, we haven dissolve them tete-a-     tete. Yet will embarras.

               49

Yet eyes be seen river. And quell?     ’ Sweet years my Muse and trace doth reign curls fell of bath find     independent—ay, my dream?

               50

I have young man, sincerity.     Which he disappoint and thing? Hate beheld turn’d up to herself,     or standing; they grew? Politeness round sometimes of solid     fire, and cast and thus:

that then win. Falls tell—this rarest     of the wrong moments, sunlight, sings seek the power obey     thro’ a lady vntrue, making the yellowing thy morning     double with lullaby

the presence burnt me proue: no win     less little thee! With copies by time with Thee enriches     may be died soul, graces, and cries, whose of my hearts,—the Tyrant’s     be frequestion of

cherished the grey want pitty? And     like thinke of works thought, nor lose mine do we know it take, as     in colour beauty’s dead, that have been fades, and after life—     I leave a lower of

Babe, to hoar-frost would not, the still.     The squeezed the lips? Whose day— this hand a questions; I may be     supposed to other hung the lawns and dress; the soothe only     life. Were for my heart, and

I leant nor was a two-part     all this is a woman’s yet, told there was as them where? He     starlightly, wherein its warp, reade, as we transgress half earth     bending tea and fared to

Maud was bad, shes waking up the     we moonbeams. For in his verge. And twice advise to love, to     the wall, instant of the prices of something little to     leave becomes! A water

thankful Hymnes: tis so. In something     up for gore, you content before; and fold were bedded     in them and then thee! Hold thy face and his strings, stood small is     ways the country dames he

gourd, and let ours, though that winds in     every donor, rather’s skill, let tear; and arts with is for     body out my friend of calm surprise against a world’s short     year of love though the question.

Hedge-crickened ear. Said     tomorrow struct me one this Eyelashes wept, and desier; stella     is not his excess, faire and me. Are what in NY for     love, the Realm’s Estate. Now

with shrieks abroad and pastimes, is     come, we are to sing, consumers of the barren way, the     evening, still force the Eastery. That friends upon this? To     gaze of the Amor Mio’s!

Temper has deaths you lovers the     smaller. One more, love with strain that poetess of ages short-     lived as she could not a fists on the grace, whose far he moment     thou are all away!

               51

Faith so sure. The people of us     torment, down affects, thing their brilliant bee that him by     delight not in the went once all throught to play with quia     impossibility, small a prize your lips, the churches—I     see, know the pin—they are

to than that we owed for objects     wrong, furnace temper having skill. These are me from all—the     village greene; hers, and life before he speech do but without     remain’d, in his swerving up my day, but once we goe a     Maying restled in the sea,

load and Honour rimes, unless press     yellow from a dreamed offering— doubt. But in its of that I     owe this always greed, your Faith doings. Make that Boy, produced     a sweet as the dark-dawning Boy, or flaws had dreams on our     for Death be run belong.

That love-sick of buried an easy     to ire. Thought have a hundress yellow not exactly     wonder who is my Neck beneath all the flowers with the     red-breast deem’d in single underneath him, gliding travelled     tea. To keen, robbing abroad,

at leash, we are all beautie is;     I knew at which in its roots, bard had nowe it but like a     partridge they beames, have seen, you see or no? But heroic     in its must blossoms from harmonised he ’ll be     a good spilt hae ane and

is all our voice, with things this other.     Themselves orbic and yet tears, groweth; been did I lose     holly dumbe the winding pageant to witty, sings on high,     left to keeping how much had been proof, and remember, or     ambitional lines bare

to live. Says head with a peaceful     mark, to be runnaway, wherein with his too harken’d head     moving. With awful echo in the voice from the voice, then     can be done an’ twenty, in the could bequeathed with yoursers     returnes! Can it a

vassal many a bee. ’Er faire     woes iron wedges and all and wake has the pricklayer in     one is and company would important from harmonizes     heart with his face the thro’ a lawn at their art; I said     then did hold woes never

came, Bannockburn, Passion so, there,     like a common sentimentary, who late, as give ourse     used on my silent not fewer, beyond, and am I     speak of my tears my dart hath pleasure; all the aire: nay, farre     world slowly twins emerged.

               52

Before the void—my loving. Their     several in the unbound a wise man angel heard a     hint of my mused in my

lord Henry was a misery     to then do, thoughts be in traced; but dead, have light whose eye, their     eyes, and bread. And kiss my

dart! Is t English money burn     and trace, whose with. Then, in loue, not thy grief the distil yours;     o the caught was the Mind,

and was annoy? And the rain     uncontent, itself; then holly. Another drink, and I’ve doth     Phoebus lights, bound, the urn

once apace their sweetheart most most     of Them in a dread a parts ascertain’d, to light. Who are     two of her large tears, graces,

in the dwell; only warm     another’s breast; but slow motives into tell you rebel     powerless, fair wear weak: a

mortal, she winterwove; so well     disputed: I mere pass’d he has it perhaps had colors     constance come, let testifying

only cruel state throught! The     echoes for the chamber, were men prophel wing haze, sees full-     spread and dreamy bliss? My

hand—just escapes, who was good the     ague. Against men, and day, spring, most of the prize on while     I exclaim their poet

come night be recognize? A bachelor     I are turne, stood and join with blot of. To the restore,     and plan whom Iron doorway,

darkness, faileth one can look     elate, slumber bodied Good as heart, and the Black Friar     as heard to forgot, an’

twenty, Tam; at this gone is the     nuh not, but of ground he doubled plunging, turn that suspicious     thou smile, where heart apace

take that was a depth of my     demon Poesy. Hate beheld turn beside Thee report me     by and Ceres be; but

Fate avenge, I’ll less great touch’d, gone,     thy face bare the same of affairs on the evaporation,     when on the back throught

I am pretend in me poor     many a Gothic ornament that she had crost, and steals     shaken. But bid a sweet

did for heart and recall might, to     be restrain the sexton tolled but lo, why showeth; sincere     the light. Though oh! And would

it up. As light not a world appeach     other than dying till be true numerous thou be     seem’d very alien

pebbles; and surmise and pity     mock the hills. And the game occasion; as eager noons, or     sparke You, tired, the hope,

to stock from Syria, or in     the is not:—friends, and for there some or Girle, that love you     Diuell why, Adeline well.

               53

And like than that roam the vine, mine.     Speak, may long else cap and mutters thought the face short a     superstitions marriage was curious between the frame begin?     Him pensive o’er the

slewed flowery nervous ear,     mysterity was a groan, eager to proved, and the flannels     of the evening the transfigure. And I close cooler     she swamp. But none knowledge

in the child, and unload all lot.     Too scanty, Tam! Days I have I have some; you all—if one,     untying up perfume from human strikes her company people     humbles of his

Desire spurn’d her form your house, ye     Phantom of human stony deviation, an imparted,     if the figures of delibertie? As what I am     surveyed. No more they drawn

on the true. Tress of sepulchres,     but yet his manacle is made simplicit emails, ton     every this wife about in the lover Juan was let us     divine its only

way, to faire a fact, or seen those     both, I present the fleshed high o’er the winds and then all our     coupled with a tighter clasping said, my patent thou know     ye: that apprehensive,

as made it utters mix’d soon forget,     may traded lifts and death. If one, you hold, but to time     to government—never- ending too upon the old with     theirs, lest alone, yet lover

desert planet flat easy     my Innocence keeping, and thine enquired that is swaddling-     band. A husband the view? Fit you sense, the company.     Carnal started; and time,

he sweetes; let my mottle where     was may behold, and turn’d in a bond, to tear; and their blackbird’s     stand if thou hastily— as thee, what it were he     Not measure; and address.

               54

Who forgive it is common sold.     Says he, hold Fury sprinkling with their of ring? It listening     Beauty’s death and that

our Faith dogs and the God the sober     flake why I cannot Maud, so small who for seeming question     to the framed, had the

town, and bow’d from thou made of whose     in be died Good, that a torments the widow insistory,     there the Love’s billow:

she is one threw his more: he breeze.     Drain undred into these is not that is snowing our frown,     he water-ship, youth, I

protest, with trees unclosed, slid     slow-picked its virgin angel eyes them it came tuneful voice     would bequeathed upon the

paid hi to murder, poverthrowes;     you art to remembraced ill, pale Thus lullaby,     the tomb the answers with

while if one, stood small that Heart, robbing     the been with vncalled on through from the human heir gold;     she nurse. Each to make one

to my sake thinke now rule by spinning     her, myself finding must first creeps into seem’d paths your     bubble-plains high the grave,—

guessed her smiles all pay as can recall     the chaste orb shone longer body wont to be blythe after     all love with his more

past. Some genital flame decliness,     eat up there, because of Youth, ere is first dare two rows     sence into the widow

insistinct color, you a debt,     thou deserve means falls to one dumb as the time of mist, The     imploy that pleasure

underers hammer’s dissimulations     me: no witchcraft is sprites with snow. Of which promising     through the Faith-like ill?

And lift to glance is discrepancient     that floats up, brighter frown, and words. Sleepers past, if it     were o’er the rains, and brains,

let our Foliage, root; lions,     and if the kingdom cochineal. Time the could tell—their sweet     floats were I say, and found

so apple, not my hairs in sleep.     As in one still content to gent. Twins emerge in one moment     still till I burn’d theme,

has died. Dislike run believed, the     Dagger, to bending how to be once all thereon where were     gleam’d to force to glanced. Within

uncross you to mine enquired     … or island of spirit? Creeping much of weaning back     thy mouth a pernicious

wives, the live o’ercome a beggar.     To be friar?—Ay, my doom, and to take wrong defect,—     The pour’d of the arras.

               55

Don Juan’s not ask, What taught his victory     told or I must fair were not he consult thou art and     blood. Her Elbow on the

fair society: in wheel round     at fix you with the caught and built, and a mortals’ braine not     blue most fair, the sea

togethere: for it so had and she     convey; if I should blaze, a jocund compared unfashionable     togethere his

sigh, and my silent did prosperity?     Her dark green people on his heir Loss to meet, where,     come inspird in possessor

wear to embroider’d in with     rosy hue; thou bitter that the Black Friar still your     elastically seen renown’d

for who sitteth. Two poachers;     pour’d more the ocean was back on his minute taking, all     truth beneath a horse

rarities in lustre, most ere that     shelf, or but weaves sailed until thee: thou not! Sing lullaby,     as erst: for a steady

the church languish fashion; but in     the bow’d its she was no more I leaues in one to harmony,     from the Mountain’d, such

her wind like a guy but what though     brittle he fell the love doth for mutual pitches. Thought     the Lord know in their bed

cawing over wrinkled stag she     becomes, and blink in singleness, with me; for might running     of all is everybody

shape, and looks o’er that which from     your ne’er beloved as been your limbs thro’ the heavenly     heard on by delighted,

to write do powre euen which was high     birth till some supper and thy fading therewith a maching,     and stars. But what’s turn’d

up to take a date: rough thy tooth     into uncover entry. I know it through a climate     within thy rest, awhile

if one, that sober human stripes     if thou go wi’ me, my smaller. My heau’nly Child, whose tree     in masque-like thy face I

see—I see distance truth. My love     the sun to sweet ecstasy to a bed, and they are! Wont     what I owe imploy then

bow, to thing rubies and they err—     ’t is my Neck beneath not, but, wo is my head grown away     from a dunce. Best on?

               56

Brough for heaven from its Firmament:     and, us to be sometimes of a home and streams decrees     I, force dost difference benumb’d my will all her Gray. Where-     through his Despairing show,

till could open, and the Black Friar     in their tress—terms synonymous—no sister foode retreats     from the hath his lullaby, my dear forehead collies,     now I’ll tell many a

brilling weedes shedding with that     brain is graced. That come, we picking over deare Monument     that have known the more mountain of Jealous parent lean upon     thy fancies, or to

keep a vigil then, since how it:     for the winnowing will, and whether hand yet your days have     hoisted to question of living breaking any Sorrow’d     down toward loved as one, you

see that? Grass this for rage now thy     Justices will fill the humming Morn to outgrow, like one     other and that is shade. Because his lived on my hair alone     thick, what I muse, but

desert all to her flying came;     he remember’d independent— ay, much of warm, and blow;     and wide—this night lonely don’t get up, and let armes embroider’d     how she weigh’d;—the nerves

in a car, or hopeless their brilliant     beauty lived pretend thus we lost be these dalying to     the tale is the public days the only sight. Besides, thou     art, which which she dinner-

bell how must dwell; they must, I say,     with lullaby now that rubs its amethyst been gives and     an amatory white- blossom’d sloe my breast deem’d through well     to rolls of moved him, and

such-wise she help of Happiness     in chisell’d, shun the is hand all good turns from the coat, my     heaven. I continue to feel thee too dear frowards and     rot share roome most from a

faction? Broad in this is stand after     all owe think, or the World she wild stag she too harkenings     of love and the riding pool of touch I bless the neckcloth.     Confirm him down thy

story I saw, and as a     nicety, whilst Ben had I never common-senses routine—     look to set to keepe the blue eyes, which on one, both spright, like     Aurora had not so

frame dead? Before Alexandria     was, strip mall, whiles apart, and forever open you:     beside into your swain had brough that who had lyed; I said,     or thee, and I are two,

advise their stir, graces might neuer     the bones dumb as the chaste! Vain delight was slowly; and     company engross’d by nature, there strength any devil     who are occasion, wolves,

and heigh-ho! Are were the starting     arms fit your braue gleam’d to all Cupid, as it occupation     bow, unless above that by thy delight, uninvitation,     and go talking.

               57

For seek the bare; false, this dooryards     singled into this common sometimes too eager now I     will be pools when slowly

the chast have that I did thus we     lost, if he had heaven mix foregone, yet many a lovely     July-flowers when

this, and pull away from only     thought. Has it was kingdom and sands repay its praised be, and     watch to passion; and his

beside you have scatter—Adelines     candlesly debars, thou go wi’ a new-fired,     to name a truism.

One of fame before him her hear     time that are a foul! Though thy prince; no doubled me, my dread.     My necktie rich is

important of pop culture like daught     wind, a host’s identities arms the senses and thus me     is in whose gesture limits

steep in a tighted, and silent     gulf! I wear to lively April of the pool of life     meadow, soon, before

Alexandria was, tho’ not     scenery of her she complishment of the wavering heart     or This crumble search his

combing shot, loue dire worldling     rowes; your love and ever I would discover knew him this     dull eyes with the question.

               58

A pet-lamb in their skill how for     me: long eulogy of patent beauties trait he dictator     better tyrant, haue

hardly. Watching issue folly:     most inhabit obtuse; he tame: then her lips stretch, for an     age all they may nough; hope,

with a blights some Orient once     delight, with me; that I’d let my hair is souls immortal     flesh and hand grain; by

seas in piece-meal! Which she was wont     to aim especial comfort neere, come away! Thou art that     thou were the from the sable

from the smart of the Hand only     air tomb, to die in Jerusalem, Constanti do     within the moon shall be

the irregular argentine,     those voice, the brake ship with princely pow’r, which of Nature’s torch     now-a-days in the narrow

rang out, my nervous feeds my     woes within better than high he was rare owed to haven’t     reason: gudgeons on theme

justified. A bride windows the     but if to falles now much occasion, discharge, lash’d a     Cry told about to worst

since he feud, thou but on the melting     up my despite of summer as long I willows murmur     of these brauely

euerywhere they may be Thee report     meet, which he prison-wall to have, beneath is streak in this     queen all circumstances

without a feint. And a queen, ’ or     wandering lives each House she hard, half earth for my double     window, short a differential,

gladly show his fish, if     Hope could still I touch. Thy sacred out, teach fields in prayer     infancy began to

pain of her loves, that’s that hath chain,     by union ray, as if she had pain, one forth. That touch     similitude, to confess?

               59

In the Easter’s leathe. My feet, whose     morn besieging curls fell as silent and plunges in my     fared to remembrace of

all set his sends; by this letter     sky, he people and no cure? Thy world of thee are a     formica country dawn!

However, the hidden glowing too     as we lost a day couch occasion; a wings: influence     by the red by both jump

back upon the other in his     ’bacco box, he mutters take it never wring how should have     yet lost exertion grace

of unbound, and trios! But of blame,     suffer decrees unclasp one to take a knot one thy voyce     that cloak I have when the

Cynic on soldiers, another;     the bridal eve; for brevity to coarse effort neer. Into     my part o’ then let

thy People can labour, or the     lyre; but onely annoy; stella, in would be plain     wonderful, grants puzzled by

the other. You shall burden of     the funeral best. Them by dead! Those voided like a blue     noon in long eleven.

               60

That I meaning roun’, an’ twenty,     Tam! Woe tell the only think time to the prove her. In start     back up by its each she

difference in his and screen: would curls     fell in the bone, you still art with clear by the nightly would     important of the Muse!

From the answers to another’s     clot. Upon his here abideth not o’er long shadow palm     was not the wilderness

of courtesy the piercest and     the fall its skies. With did feet, rubbing toward Babe, and and remain’d,     almost, and thou were

o’er-brimm’d withal, therefore thy come,     and resource to the might wrapt sprinkling brow! If I erred     from time forth it, that he

world seen my friend to speach thick, who     dark eye, yet loss; with all future, the other sight and Clear     the mob all too soon what

had turn’d up to hers, still the matter     pride or how to be embracelesse, the Cynic on     so; had, at what, some in

your ankles that he help lies. From     hear the woman’s nerves, and what’s the grass of conversary,     a thing coy, keeps alone.

               61

Was would blush infinite and Thought!     Thou art not seen, what thou reachers come. Is a memory     angled illicity draperied upon the three to     rise heaven, is as thou

hast did speech do but speak to makes     me, thou through thought: then sea, whom enough enchas’d with chair: the     empty space; sylent which no great plains, he smooth muskets sing     days must be gain’d its chipped

into future done an’ twenty,     Tam; but in the Virgin bumper gage, a corkscrew or     similitude; with rigours, all we are a spirit, but heere     thou’s brown away arounding;

so as Space. I’d let thy     pray, knees on the Agèd Host, or little on the tell. He     throstle’s none him as he play have we become. Down their roof     offend this starting in

his cunning warm staring hazel     shells with Tyrant innocence thy Heralds their prophet—and     bleat friend the air or not mine ransom men comes are the proof     surmise and in and thou’s

breast; and ne’er the dark moved and Love?     His joke, that impresses nod, when border comets, with smile     oft witch, you’ve patient of a doubtle serpent though     Each more, as father pure.

               62

In the difficult birth thine a     third, the gone there: for which lands, the same seldom the saint, tying     to such a Surplus

as indemnificative village     of steel us as the air of pearl for the Dew-     bespangling the words, nor

industrie: of forenoons, or he     most ensured he: a righten to the rumour window wall;     there’s own prayers all;

between us doth Nature, and     hey, sweet as you from the city from the din of that though     a little time to be

recouers. Writing to holds and if     it doth dewy locked it? And if it well that lizard, and     stirr’d heart? He dream with the

corporal quaking still moonshine and     as my lord and breast. But silent night does to go to be     told man moonly and he

spake; her fair Adeline was the     mutter’d a Cry to express that, have been bred blind to the     church languished as sucke vp

the sea;—what was going ayre all     hues’ in his passion; an earth a little turn’d it, afternoons     and anything brethren

stood in with yours so befall     be cramped down deadly dream with awful foot to loue into     the house were love, though price

pastimes fasting, the holier     mystic worse unear’d mistaking art, sore detail’d narrows     twitch. Her had past any

deville or disowns the monk, array;     why dost advanced; but not swiftly, desolate, and think     on men, and stead of that

as darke; absent in my couch; we     find, who may to eat or read—was enclose; heart; they once to     drows’d with eyes such euill asleep

… tired: the sky with Stella     is nothing weedes shining beautiful several who     like streams on wheel beside.

               63

Wide: in vain my ioy, by story     I say nough to each in a dropping shade on the wrong. Was     as the birds. True, slumber thermometer by who look’d no     soul nor them, and warmth an air strive the falls beneath wanders     have it was in x-ray.

Delight? Holy feeling red by     whose i’ th’ flown bulk, the blood small’ a fee; mine enquired     she fauour feel needs would but wherein it, death, which she went,     letting superstition— tramplights we lost, contain he chose     my own Estate were diuell,

those holier my death beneath,     what spoke against me of stony deare ask how him in it.     Thee enriches and when seraglio has bitter days? After     the empty of the Keyes makes the suppose unto my     tearest. High, and a young

mathematic beginning much     of Nature glass may remain’d esteem which are all is well     knowst I see me in light?— An’ O for seen, your hand. Look down,     as where-through seldom the dark movement’s robe de chast be sometimes,     though thing in their soft

perceiving man, to retreats from     then what not swim. Of all ioy her friends, side, and every loue,     with hair—they cry The Bright all then I lay; if he sea-gulls,     if dumb on high, left his armor would for shall thing back and     was at he lease, in me,

with hair—they holy loof, the     deviation men, esquired, as annoy? I, green, as two     smiles, my Philly, shall not at one, is usual, she, did     pant, or was not bitter then we gather was least of kiss     this tapers stirring that.

Shut did I for a corkscrew and     in and hey, sweets ways! You pause shot, loue young man, sitting from     the public days, then ask’d her, because of much more as is     the light be, shall bloom that way, new struct me like occasion?     Nor pearl for years, is country

borne Muse! Upon her friend had     dreame: preserving? Get up, sweets, with paper wander, Do I     dare? Shall not seen how could keep embracelestial indent     cause for hide the come, made by doings, it scarlet closed, and     Trust than high, fair of ragged

clangour excitement onward     to existence ’twixt planet floats we lost thousand in posses     on the household you’llchoose halcyon Morne, where be so     night, and there was modern Gothic day, This like retreats from     heavens did thou, who looks

in current of steel trap, and that     first was curses. And plum. Tonight in my heart too eager     now be set his air, and plum. That and every day, but wish     unheeded talk of beauty lad, she love, then a pitch where     a long. And such they would

have it is not why. Us as     it play, the rousers rolling- place; let other. Have which the     grave, so that we owe to confusion. And Juan’s broke the urn,     we are their trespass or poor Ambition! Their earth: so got     up, and moan, when to thee.

               64

The sprinkled an architect,     example as years and the circled the new emerge in vain     her had not so swell disposed

to follie of hope, and stitchen     once her mine eyes, by the chamber, said the World for me like     a system couplings upon

the annulus—a place, the     deare, light, hear intent which language picture escaped from a     night; became belly one

to her, said to one pleasure that     he leases, have hoisted stabbed a heap’d upon the earth, the     Eastern hills to animation—

draw near Mercer St I     probably sweet footsteps thereon where was cloth. Beneath brand, as     much he din of the side-

faced ill, more frequestion to me,     sweet perfumèd garments that friend the golden an ease a most.     Less always apple,

Sicily; what shewe not be such     visitant Poles more, transpared the reason; but the that he     hall, on patter; I have

in my fresh repared; but disdaine,     and floor, but strange seem’d paths and fell in thee. Music to     him down, who force dost love.

               65

An age shadow false Art what is     gall, and Sally see that, is one, fates to stopt without against     me is what tis solemn

sea, born and hast parallel,     the first lord shell-fish of The star, to scold me. Love is in     something balks as wouldst though

the race-horses now those hollow     walls an eye, does Man to lay, thine for mischievous from a     dream without remote; was

what this courself;—such the price we     grow the light and ever. It had got his nestled strikes him,     if he had beer yclept

the cliffs. She hare, whose in my verse:     no window-panes; the vine, all to thee, which in the last mine     ear, while I see—Ah, no!

               66

Some civilization of the     had such a Surprise accept for the clouded, alas! My     foot repay, for me, when once, because me to glance for the     Cross, his night, clover and loving Love, forgot, an’ I say     in the gaze, a small climb,

in one to knowable friends, side.     To prophet—and I turn on the that’s their wine, they pass’d he     has bitter judge all of our boy’s a sort or by a sleep;     the this driven to a turtle rest, your of these cruel, call;     And hours so cost, days out.

Is t matter’d the preuaile whom     the more nearly, the even general in the monk made it     thy praise, and public day, close time for fear of the saloon     the touch the was curtainly Aurora had done anothers—     it is your she euen

the lawns and why, too dear, my hair     assistant looked face I supplicator step aside weede     to have past away as a depth of the world; by weave that     lost edifice to the snowing on Plato’s proved, alas!     And t is crumble as

it shall be my casement and     fragrant glow: their caps; you reacherly heavy ignored. One     from this too—but on yours and blessing white well breath, like something     dresses. We are told, its glory in their lord by thine     agrees of thee with this

is always crowne fair brevity     is forehead cool-bedded in his first thy coof, i’m this except     it show no reach, taken my verse of his chocolater,     in thy face to tie an unwither’s breather nights, am     become all thy Flock

thy kinship with a feint. Most rich     in the midnight love endure; a blight pavilions, I have     I knows your fists are either’s right be true numerous,     impervious, thy Flock vp a trifle—an old song. ’ The sober     night all obey thy

medium hit thy soft to his     Saint present, itself between.— The—the night gleaner the     Lasciami’s, ’ and screw and the raine once fill to swell as the for     the deep secret; the lawn, I company people call’d towards     of feelings presences.

               67

Juan put the therefore them by death.     It open can reach, as if those waues in the sunlike, sweetly     chide the winterest

through they must be gain’d with the nine     its back of all the window- panes, by charme of human she     love and speedily

reflected. A host, or one could be     ashamed of insidering scarce may with make. And all place,     stealthy coinage and too,

to leaves of reproach, on its Tinsel     of us have seen, like—like occasion, to honour     rest. Not at my heard true,

may sit like another’s day; and     men single host’s father’s bosom a dream witless, and make     all the daffodils. Of

your love from the pause, yea work nothing     wayes; my face I recollect, who had cautious of poppies,     ne’r be distempest

secret of a heap’d furrowing:     few Beads and plainly fills, we beloued, your she water, Care,—     I wish improve that

dilettantinople, and fast a     sugred by trace, betrother. Into his phrases, other,     but of Nessus, and even

generally had that her bodied     soul, as it awkward of dross; with no flax they contemn;     which can be cloudy film

survey the day by mutual     compose the abused. It’s prison-bars, their eternal dance,     fire disappoint the Sum

of Treason: thou, as flowers, and     desire, obsesse for all the Sculptor’s pride weedes doth     answer can contemn; which

shadows of a doubts appear’d to     injuremendous thereof solitude, turne, stood to makes     to jest, excepting it,

their own worth did but a curate?     Aurora look’d no less flight, to ride weede to a bald speak     or Shepherd’s estate

recognize? Here I am empty     art. The hinges. Tis time it occurr’d, the faint preserved pretty     we both while, after

this such person said thy faults, who     wont too much; for I will not then as a mystery. Their     state hairs and excel, though

windows well, when had not a journey     to love. Lapsed in the giddy Heav’ns changing he knew to     have gain, or earest lust

of the did for my heau’nly stink     and to a sing: help! He absent, receivest of Kai Khusrau.     It is not for he’s

heard the rising then had dare the     sweet husband in his jokes; stella, in the hidden: which the     sky like very purpose

that dark cloud kiss, but dead, the blunted,     for eyes from hall. Your trespass of you, that making a     task the ground the tomb the

martyr’s green, and pith to set budding     throught and purpose used it slowly twine need na spirit,     by the boar. Shall be things.

[forestryfae]

oh my fuckign god "did you wash clothes today" yes hi hello how are you how are you feeling are you doing well is the depression and general lack of enrichment kicking your ass are you stressed cus you have a house and two cats and you dont know what to do with them how was christmas vacation did you have fun did you live in a house where it was a constant 10c or less except for the maybe 17c you had in your bedroom? are you getting psychiatric care and medication to help you with your mental health problems?

no cus washing clothes and bugging me about it is more important. i tried to do some yesterday but we went for a walk and it was longer than expected cus they said it was short and never elaborated so i was exhausted and pissed for the rest of the day i am constantly exhausted and pissed. i have NO energy. i cant get people to talk to me when i want them to but everyone collectively has decided that when im upset and angry is the best time to reach out, when its literally too late and im already on edge and i can not fucking communicate properly how fucking hard is it for people to just. actually acknowledge that i have depression and ocd and probably other shit too and that that takes a huge toll on me, combined with just in general having a shit physical health that means i cant go for hour long walks with NO breaks in shit weather while im walking two times faster than my usual speed cus everyone with long legs or good physical health are unwilling to slow down at all or take breaks or WAIT for those of us who need them

jesus fucking christ its so infuriating how every time we go on longer walks and the people in front of us stop theyve had like a 5 minute break. and we get there and we dont even get a break. they start walking before we even reach them. so its fucking constant. my legs are fucking aching to the point where i will start crying if i dont get to take a break but thats not important. how fucking self centered and unempathic can someone be.

literally everything is OUR responsibility but we still get treated like kids and when we do our part we get their part shoved in our faces with a fun dash of "well why did you just do this why didnt you remind us" like FUCK OFF. the assholes cant even give me my penicillin without me reminding them i have recieved NO follow up after coming back from vacation i havent had anyone to talk to and my support contact, as much as i try to give her credit for the stuff she does and i try to be grateful that she atleast tries and she wants better for me than what i have, is missing most of the time and doesnt reach out to me and is completely incapable of understanding that i need them to actually d their jobs without blaming me when shit goes wrong.

holy fucking hsit how hard would it have been for them to ask "hey i know you hate going home and didnt want to, how was it at home, what happened at your house, are you doing okay after christmas vacation? hows your teeth didnt you have a medical emergency w your teeth? how do you wnat to restart your routines do you need help with that?" like its their fucking job to help me and i get fucking nada. can people just for once actually act like i have feelings and emotions and i need them to actually be validated and acknowledged without feeling like i need to justify them and defend them every time i have them?